October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

You Gave Me Tuna Much

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Coworker: *to Manager* “We just got a customer complaint. He said we put two scoops of tuna on his sandwich instead of one.”

Me: “That’s the first time I’ve ever heard of a customer complaining because they got extra!”

Manager: “I know, really!”

Has No Loyalty To Common Sense

| Reno, NV, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

Me: “If that’s all today, your total is [amount].”

Customer #1: *slides card in card reader* “Why does it say card not recognized?”

Me: *looking at card* “Because that is for [Competing Chain]. We can’t take their cards.”

Customer #1: “Well, that’s stupid. You’re both gas stations. You should honor each other’s cards.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I don’t make the rules; I just have to follow them. Do, you have another form of payment?”

Customer #1: “Fine.” *hands over cash*

(I ring up the next customer.)

Me: “If that’s all today, your total is [amount].”

Customer #2: “Oh, I have a loyalty card.”

Me: “Okay, just slide it in the card reader and we’ll see if you have any rewards saved up.”

(Customer #2 slides their card. I see an error message that it isn’t a valid account.)

Me: “Hmm, the card reader didn’t recognize it. Let me try to enter it manually.”

(Customer #2 hands me the card. It is for a grocery chain.)

Me: “Sir, this is a [Grocery Chain] card. We can’t take those here. Do you have a [Our Convenience Store] card?”

Customer #2: “What? But the card says I can use it at the gas station.”

Me: “Yes, at their gas station out front of their store. We can only take our own loyalty cards.”

Customer #2: “Well, that’s misleading.”

(… and this is why I’m incredibly grateful that my last day on that job was last week!)

The Birth Of Assumption

| East Falmouth, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(A guy comes in, buys his stuff by credit card, as I hand him his bags and receipt:)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “What? The h*** did you know?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “The f*** did you know it was my birthday? You see my ID in my wallet or something?”

Me: “Uh… sir? All I said was have a nice day.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Not ‘Happy Birthday?'”

Me: *trying VERY hard not to smirk* “…No.”

Customer: “Well, this day’s off to a good start…”

Me: *smiling sympathetically* “Have a nice day, sir. And Happy Birthday.”

The Cigarettes Are All Smoke And Mirrors

| Robeline, LA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

(A customer comes up to the counter and is looking at the cigarette display over my shoulder.)

Customer: “Do you have any [Brand] menthols?”

(I look over my shoulder at that exact brand/flavor then give the customer a sidelong glance. I usually bite my tongue in this sort of situation but I’ve had a long day and can’t resist.)

Me: *grin* “Nope, sorry, those are a figment of your imagination.”

Customer: *pauses then laughs* “I set myself up for that, didn’t I?”

My Roommate Is My Pet Hate

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Pets & Animals

(I’m 18 and working at a convenience store which sells, amongst the usual odds and ends, pet food. I’m working the night shift, and it’s 4:30 am and really quiet, so I have my minor tasks finished. I’m just relaxing and doing some cleaning when I hear shouting outside. I see a man coming towards the door, screaming into his cell phone. He walks in mid-scream.)


(I stare as he walks by, when suddenly he stops and looks at my nametag. He starts speaking (slightly) quieter, and heads towards a back aisle.)

Customer: “—and you know what else? Now there’s another night ruined. [My Name] is stuck working tonight at [Convenience Store]. He was looking forward to a quiet night where he could do some cleaning, some inventory, and take it easy. Instead, he has to stand behind the counter listening to a crazy man screaming into his phone because HIS ROOMMATE IS A STUPID, MOTHERF******, SELFISH, IDIOTIC, TOOL! IF YOU THINK I’M GOING TO PUT UP WITH YOUR STUPIDITY FOR ANOTHER—”

(He pauses mid-sentence, then looks at his phone, then at me.)

Customer: *in a completely calm voice* “His voicemail just cut out again.”

Me: “What happened?”

(The customer comes up and puts several cans of cat food on the counter. As I ring him up, he unlocks his phone and starts dialing while he talks.)

Customer: “I work in a 24 hour call center. I just had the shift from hell, and got home to find my roommates cat howling and crying because it’s hungry and we have no cat food. My roommate knew, but he went out partying anyway and left me to deal with it.” *suddenly he holds the phone closer and begins screaming again* “SO I’M HERE AT 4:30 IN THE F****** MORNING MAKING YOUR DAY WORSE BECAUSE MY ROOMMATE IS AN A**! THE CAT IS HOWLING AND SCREAMING, AND I CAN’T SLEEP UNTIL IT’S FED, BUT G** F****** FORBID THAT ANYBODY INTERFERE WITH THE A**-HOLE’S LATEST HOOKUP!”

(He continues to scream obscenities into his phone while paying me for the cat food, then apologizes to me again for his behavior and wishes me a calmer night before screaming again into his phone.)


(He walks out screaming, and I burst out laughing. It became a running joke for several days after that, until I see the customer and another man at midnight looking at junk food. They’re talking normally, and when they reach the counter the customer’s eyes widen and he greets me happily, and then looks at his friend.)

Customer: “Well?”

Customer #2: “Well what?”

Customer: “This is [My Name].”

Customer #2: *looking confused* “Hi?”

Me: “Hi.”

Customer: “Are you going to apologize?”

Customer #2: “For what?”

Customer: *eyes narrowing* “You didn’t listen to my voicemails, did you?”

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