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    You Have A Hot Voice

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m at the register on a slow day. A customer comes to the counter with a couple of boxes of Hot Pockets.)

    Me: *scanning the boxes and singing the jingle*Hot Pock-ets!”

    Customer: *deadpan* “That was beautiful… I hope that’s not weird to say.”

    Me: “Not at all! Thank you!”

    (Made my day!)

    Toys We ‘R’ Not

    | IN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: *in a strong accent* “I’m lookin’ for Taggers!”

    Me: “Taggers?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need some Taggers and I know ya had ’em last year, I want ’em for Easter.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I have bad hearing. Could you spell that for me?”

    Caller: “What’s so hard about Taggers?” *sighs* “T-a-g-g-e-r-s; Taggers!”

    Me: “Taggers?”

    Caller: “Yes! Giant, stuffed, plush Taggers!”

    Me: “Oh, tigers!”

    Caller: “That’s what I said!”

    Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t get any in this year.”

    Caller: “Well do you know who might have them?”

    Me: “Toys R Us?”

    Caller: “Great idea! I’ll give you my number.”

    Me: “Number?”

    Caller: “You know, my phone number!”

    Me: “Why would you give me your phone number?”

    Caller: *sigh* “So you can call them and then tell me if they have any!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t dial out, but you have a nice day and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

    (I quickly hung up the phone and my manager laughed at me, until he answered the phone. It was the same woman calling back, wanting us to see if ‘Toys R Us’ had her Taggers.)

    Giving His Leg A Clean Break

    | WI, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (Every month a cleaning company comes into our business to buff the tile floors. It is about 9:45 and we close at 10:00 so the last minute rush has begun. A middle-aged man enters and notices the cleaning crew mopping the floors.)

    Man: *dramatically falls landing on his leg* “Ow! My leg! Why didn’t you tell me the floor was wet?” *followed by more moans of agony*

    Me: “Sir, we have a problem.”

    Man: “Of course we have a d*** problem! I just broke my f****** leg!”

    Me: “Well… they haven’t even cleaned this side of the store yet.”

    (Suddenly his yells of pain are silenced. Then, he stands up on his ‘broken leg’ and quickly darts out the door. But I did receive applause from both the other customers and the cleaning crew!)

    I Can Put On My Own Pants And Everything

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Underaged

    (A customer comes in to buy a pack of cigarettes. He looks under-age.)

    Me: “Can I see some ID please?”

    Customer: “I don’t have to show ID. C’mon, I’m wearing snowpants!”

    (Ironically enough there was a young boy about four-years-old standing in line behind him wearing… snowpants.)

    It’s The Principle Of The Matter

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, School

    (I am second in line, and it’s early morning on a Thursday. The area has just gotten a severe weather warning about freezing rain and hail. In front of me is a chipper customer chatting with the clerk as she pays for her 40-oz bottles of malt liquor.)

    Customer: “I got four of these. Does the two for five bucks still apply?”

    Clerk: “Sure does. You got the day off, do you?”

    Customer: “Yep, I work for the school district, and school’s been cancelled! I’m gonna get shit-faced before noon!”

    Clerk: *slightly shocked* “Okay, well, that’s $10.20. Have fun.”

    Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not teaching your kids. I’m the principal!”

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