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    Giving Her Two Cents On Customer Service

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work as a cashier at a concession stand during high school football games. A young girl and her father walk up to my register.)

    Me: *to the father* “Just the cookies for you?”

    (The father looks at his daughter and nods his head at her.)

    Young Girl: “Yes, please, and I’m paying for them, too!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s $1.25, please.”

    (The young girl takes out her little change purse and counts out exactly $1.25, then pauses and pulls out two pennies.)

    Young Girl: “That’s $1.25, and then a tip for you because you were so nice!”

    (The young girl then turns to her father.)

    Young Girl: “Mommy says you should tip people when they’re nice to you, and are good at their job.”

    Me: “Thank you so much! Have a good night and enjoy your cookies!”

    Young Girl: “You’re welcome! Thank YOU for being so nice and smiley!”

    (The girl and her father came through my line again later on that evening and, once again, I earned another two-cent tip. We don’t normally take tips in that position, but it absolutely made my night!)

    At Least He Was Knife About It

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

    (I’m volunteering at the concessions area of a local hockey arena. A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hello, sir!”

    Customer: “Hey! Could I get the key to room three?”

    (At our rink, the accessing of the rink locker rooms requires a special set of keys. Policy dictates that in exchange for the keys, there needs to be a small deposit. Usually, people give us their house keys or car keys, and we give them the room key. This is an effort to prevent theft and carelessness.)

    Me: “No problem! However, there is a small deposit required for the key; something like your car keys or house keys is needed to prevent theft. We’ll give it back once we get the locker room keys back.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Let’s see here, um…”

    (The customer begins rummaging around his coat pockets. Suddenly, he reaches inside his jacket, and pulls out a massive hunting knife and places it on the counter.)

    Customer: “Will this be okay?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”

    (The customer takes the locker room keys and walks away. Behind him this entire time, a second customer is waiting in line.)

    Customer #2: “Whoa.”

    It Pays to Be Not Always Right

    | Austin, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m the customer at a drink concession stand at a music festival. Sodas are $2 and special flavored waters (watermelon or blackberry) are $3.)

    Me: “I’ll have a Sprite.”

    Cashier: “We are all out of Sprite, sorry.”

    Me: “Dang. I’d like a [brand of flavored water], but I only have $2. I’ll have a Coke.”

    Cashier: “Would you like Blackberry or Watermelon?”

    Me: “Coke.”

    Cashier: “Blackberry or Watermelon?”

    Me: “COKE.”

    Cashier: *very slowly, with a knowing look on her face* “Blackberry or Watermelon?”

    Me: “COKE!”

    Another Cashier: *to me* “She’s trying to give you the water for the price of the soda.”

    Me: “Oh! Er, Blackberry.”

    Cashier: “There we go!”

    A-tip-ical Aging

    | Mountain View, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a woman and manager at a sausage/beer stand. I card everyone that orders beer, regardless of how old they look. Some customers get insulted, while others don’t mind. Note: I look at least 10 years younger than my actual age.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like two beers, polish, and a coke.”

    Me: “May I see some ID, please?”

    Customer: “I’m waaay older than you. How old do I look?”

    (He looks in his mid-30s, so I guess much earlier in age.)

    Me: “Uh, 24?”

    Customer: “Haha! NO!”

    (He shows me his ID, and his birth date makes him over 35.)

    Me: “Wow, you don’t look it.”

    Customer: “How old are you?”

    Me: “I’m 47.”

    Customer: *skeptically* “Sure… you can’t be any older than 30. Okay, show me YOUR ID.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I pull out my ID. Much to his surprise, he sees I’m older than he is.)

    Customer: “HOLY S***! WOW! You look great! Good genes, huh?”

    Me: *smiling* “Yeah, something like that…”

    (He pays for his order, but also puts an additional $10 bill on the counter.)

    Customer: “This tip is for putting up with me!”

    (Made my night!)

    Fresher Than You’ll Ever Be

    | Massena, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this concession stand for four years and this particular customer has been coming at least once a week since I started. Some variation of this same argument occurs every week.)

    Regular Customer: “Is that coffee fresh?”

    Me: “Relatively. I haven’t been open that long. You want some?”

    Regular Customer: “No. It needs to be fresh!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it is fresh. I just opened fifteen minutes ago.”

    Regular Customer: “No! I can only drink fresh coffee!”

    Me: “It is fresh coffee!”

    (The customer stands there and glares at me without saying a word for about a minute.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am not making a new pot of coffee. This one is still fresh and over half-full.”

    Regular Customer: “Yeah, well, it’s not fresh! No one’s going to buy it!”

    Me: “Someone just did!”

    Regular Customer: “Well, no one else will because you’re trying to sell them old coffee! I need fresh coffee!” *storms off*

    Other Regular Customer: “You’d think she’d have learned just to bring her own d*** coffee by now.”

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