October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Straight Into The Lion’s Den

, | Israel | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, can you help me?”

Me: “Sure, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I have Windows on my computer and it’s not booting up properly anymore.”

Me: “Did you buy the PC here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you buy Windows here?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Then I’m afraid I can’t really help you with that.”

Customer: “Look here, you sell Windows. I downloaded and installed Windows, and it’s not working. You’re supposed to help me.”

Me: “Let me just get it right. You’ve downloaded a copy of Windows, installed it and now it’s giving you problems.”

Customer: “Yes, and it’s your job to help me.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Here’s Microsoft Israel support phone number. Call them and tell them exactly what you told me.”

It Happens More Often Than You’d Think

, | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I just started working at a computer store, so my trainer has a phone call on speaker so I can listen in.)

Lady: “You sold me a faulty piece of s*** laptop!”

Trainer: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Lady: “The ¬†f***ing thing won’t open!”

Trainer: “Have you tried turning the laptop around, and opening it from the other side?”

Lady: “Oh.” *click*

Personally, I Prefer Pokey ‘Pods

, | Sacramento, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(Working in a popular electronics store set in between an extremely rural area and a sprawling urban landscape, we get all types…)

Customer:“Y’all got dem thirty two jiggabit touchee pods?”

Living On The Edge, Part 2

, , | Philadelphia, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thanks for your purchase. Would you please sign anywhere on the receipt?”


Me: “Anywhere.”

Customer: “But there’s no line!”

Me: “That’s right–the printer doesn’t draw a line for this type of receipt, so just sign anywhere on the receipt.”

Customer: “Anywhere?”

Me: “Anywhere.”

Customer: “But there’s no LINE!”

Me: *facepalm*

Living On The Edge

Bad Customer Tip #103: Pull A Clark Kent

, | Buenos Aires, Argentina | Top

(A man on his mid-forties shoves a DVD case on the counter, while yelling at me. Keep in mind that I’m wearing glasses.)

Customer: “This DVD doesn’t work, G** D***it! I want a refund!”

Me: “Okay… what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I don’t know, it doesn’t work!”

(I open the case and check the surface of the DVD. It was so scratched that it was nearly white instead of purple, and it even had a dry fingerprint of something that looked like peanut butter.)

Me: “Um… sir?”

Customer: “WHAT?!”

Me: “I can’t give you a refund for a product that has been damaged by the customer.”

Customer: What?! The disc is fine! I want a refund!”

Me: “Sir, the disc is damaged, and I cannot give you a refund.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager!”

Me: “Of course.”

(I walk away to the back of the store, take off my glasses, and walk to the counter again.)

Me: “Yes, what is the problem?”


(He suddenly figures it out.)

Customer: “F*** THIS S***!” *continues swearing while he storms out of the store*

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