A customer holds up a USB modem back when it isn’t common to have them pre-built inside computers.
Customer: “Can this download my Googles?”
Me: “Uh… it can allow you to access the Internet.”
Customer: “I don’t want no d*** Internet! I just want to download the Googles!”
Customer: “You need to help me! I’m being hacked with Windows viruses on my Mac, and I’m not even connected to the Internet!”
Me: “How do you know that, sir?”
Customer: “My enemies hacked me through the cell towers behind my house, and the virus jumped from my computer to my phone, and then from my phone into my car! It shut off my engine while I was on the freeway!”
Me: “I… can run an anti-virus sweep?”
He was there for hours claiming they needed us to clean his computer because “they” were trying to kill him. They never came back, so either the anti-virus worked… or “they” got him?
Related:
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 6
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 5
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 4
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 3
The More You Read, The Worse It Gets, Part 2
I used to work at an Apple Store. An elderly lady comes in with her Macbook in a cart and promptly tells me:
Customer: “I’m here to see the wizards.”
She doesn’t have a wizard (Genius) appointment, so I ask her what the problem is to see if I can help.
Customer: “The cursor only goes halfway down the screen!”
I think that is a very weird problem, so I ask her to show me. We plug in her Macbook, and everything looks fine. She takes the mouse and drags it down to the physical edge of the counter and stops. The cursor is about halfway down the screen.
Customer: “See?! I can’t go down any further!”
I politely explained that you can pick up the mouse, move it up, and start dragging it around again. It blew her mind.
I work in a computer store. I help a client select a wireless router to use in her home. The next day, she comes in, irate, to complain to my manager that she didn’t receive the correct product.
The customer quickly points me out and, after some yelling and huffing, we begin to address the variety of issues that could have caused the router to not work. After making no headway with all of the advanced networking questions, I decide to start over with the basics.
Me: “Do you currently have a service with an Internet provider?”
Client: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Have you signed up with Clear, Comcast, or AT&T to get Internet in your home?”
Client: “You have to buy the Internet?!”
I’ve worked in IT almost my entire life. This takes place in the mid-1980s when I’m working at a computer store. I receive a phone call.
Me: “Hello, you are calling [Store], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you today?”
Man: “My computer won’t work. The screen is just blank.”
Me: “That’s strange. Can you te—”
The man cuts me off.
Man: “It works in ‘I’ mode, but not in ‘O’ mode.”
“I” mode and “O” mode?
Me: “If it works in ‘I’ mode, then just keep it there, sir.”
Man: “Thank you! You’ve been a huge help!”
The man hung up.
How did this dude not know that “I” stands for “on” and “O” stands for “off”?
