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    We Know Her Type

    | Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer had spilled beer on her old laptop and wants a cost-effective way of making it usable again. The spare keyboard is too expensive. We end up disconnecting the internal keyboard because its stuck keys prevent the machine from booting. She was fine with the idea of using an external keyboard from now on. The customer returned the next day, slamming the laptop on the counter.)

    Customer: “The keyboard doesn’t work! I was here just yesterday and you said you fixed it!”

    Me: “Yes. We ‘fixed’ it by disconnecting the keyboard, because you didn’t want to order a new one.”

    Customer: “But it doesn’t work!”

    Me: “It does not work because you agreed to disconnecting it. You specifically asked if anything could be done instead of ordering a new spare keyboard, which is more expensive than the machine’s current worth.”

    Customer: “You didn’t repair it!”

    Me: “You didn’t want the new keyboard. The old one was beyond repair. There’s nothing else I could do about it.”

    Customer: “But I paid money for it!”

    Me: “You paid us for opening the laptop and disconnecting the cable. Many budget laptops, such as this one, are really time-consuming to disassemble because they use plastic clips instead of screws. We charged you for 30 minutes of service time.”

    Customer: “But the keys no longer do anything!”

    Me: “…”

    Laptop Flop, Part 5

    | Finland | At The Checkout, Geeks Rule, Money, Technology

    (A customer walks in with a cheap supermarket-branded laptop. She insists it’s only a tiny problem, but it turns out to be a malware-ridden horror show with no anti-virus software installed at all. I spend over 30 minutes cleaning it up with the customer standing behind my back. I recommend installing an anti-virus package, which the customer refuses. She then picks up her machine, and tries to walk out.)

    Me: “Excuse me, aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Customer: “…Huh?”

    Me: “The service fee is 45 euros.”

    Customer: “Oh, come on! The computer was already expensive, and now this?!”

    Me: “I guess we couldn’t go on for long if we worked for free.”

    Customer: “But this is what you nerds do on your free time anyway!”

    Related:
    Laptop Flop, Part 4
    Laptop Flop, Part 3
    Laptop Flop, Part 2
    Laptop Flop