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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    I Dreamed A Dream Of Calls Gone By

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

    (I work at a place that does repairs for Sony computers, stereos, cameras and the like. Hence, our store has the word ‘Sony’ in the title.)

    Me: “Good morning, [company name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is that Sony Music?”

    Me: “No, sorry, this is Sony Repairs.”

    Customer: “I’m trying to get through to Simon Cowell. He works with Susan Boyle.”

    Me: “No, sorry. We repair Sony laptops.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not Sony Music. Repairs are no good. Thanks.”

    Needs A Mass Reboot

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Religion, Technology

    (A customer walks up to the counter with a desktop and sets it down.)
     
    Customer: “Excuse me, are you Catholic?”
     
    Me: “No.”
     
    Customer: “Well, I think it’s possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?”
     
    Me: “I don’t think so. Maybe I can take a look at it?”
     
    Customer: “No! You have to be Catholic!” *takes his desktop and leaves*

    iNeed A Raise

    | Charleston, SC, USA | Technology

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “My iPhone doesn’t work, and those idiots in the phone department couldn’t help me.”

    Me: “May I take a look?”

    Customer: “Here it is. It won’t make phone calls.” *hands it to me*

    Me: “Ma’am, this is an iPod Touch.”

    Customer: “That’s exactly what that dumba** in the phone department told me. God, are all you people stupid?! iPods look like this!” *holds up an iPod Classic*

    Me: “That’s an iPod Classic. These are the new touch screen ones. May I see the box it came in?”

    Customer: “What? Here, fine.” *hands me the box*

    Me: “Ma’am, can you read this to me please?”

    (I flip the box to where the label clearly says iPod.)

    Customer: “What, are you blind too?! It says iP-…oh. Oh! Well, don’t I feel like a b****.” *walks off*

    Next customer: “Whatever they’re paying you, it’s not enough.”

    Business Daze

    | Detroit, MI, USA |

    (The customer has a covered hardware issue. It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.)

    Me: “I’m going to request that a replacement device be sent to you, free of charge. You should receive your replacement in 2 business days.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait 2 business days! You need to make it arrive Friday!”

    Me: “I understand your frustration sir, but tomorrow is Wednesday and the second business day is Friday. Thursday is the holiday.”

    Customer: “You make it get here Friday!”

    Me: “Sir, Wednesday is one business day. Friday is two business days. You will have your replacement on Friday.”

    Customer: “Put your supervisor on!”

    Supervisor: *after greeting the customer and looking at the details for the replacement* “What can I do for you sir?”

    Customer: “That girl’s trying to teach me how to count!”

    Constant New Viruses Are Such A Strain

    | Maryland, USA | Technology

    Customer: “Can you recommend a perfect anti-virus to use on my computer?”

    Me: “At the rate viruses are coming out sir, there isn’t really any that protect your computer perfectly.”

    Customer: “So they don’t really work?”

    Me: “No, not really sir.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, which one doesn’t work the least?”


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