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  • Best Left To His Own Company

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer is trying to return a computer he has had for over six months.)

    Me: “Sorry, you can’t return it now, but we may be able to fix it. What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It doesn’t get online anymore.”

    (I start working on the computer, and find the antivirus has expired and locked down the browser. This is a sneaky trick some antivirus software does to get you to renew.)

    Me: “I removed your expired AV. Your browser is working. You will need new AV.”

    Customer: “Awesome, that’s great. Hey do you have those cameras that go up high?”

    Me: “…Cameras that go up high?”

    Customer: “Yeah, like those.”

    (He points to the store’s security cameras.)

    Me: “Oh, security cameras? No, we don’t sell anything like that.”

    Customer: “But [Other Store] sells them.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but we are a different company.”

    (As I answer him, the customer looks very strange; it’s as if he is no longer all there mentally. He begins muttering to himself.)

    Customer: “Different company? Diff-erent company… Different comp-any…”

    (The customer picks up his computer and walks off, all the while continuing to mutter and stare directly into the lights in the ceiling. After he leaves, my coworker speaks up.)

    Coworker: “…What just happened?”

    Max Pain

    | PA, USA | Funny Names

    Customer: “Thanks for your help. What is your name?”

    Me: “My name is Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Brad?”

    Me: “Max.”

    Customer: “Jack?”

    Me: “Max. M-A-X. Max.”

    Customer: “Matt?”

    Me: *giving up* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Oh, good, I thought I heard you saying ‘Max,’ but that’s not a real name so I figured that I misheard.”

    Supportive Of Technical Support

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Technology, Top

    Technician: “Hello, how may I be of service?”

    Customer: “You’re a technician?”

    Technician: “Yes, sir. I’ve worked here for 3 years. I assure you that I’m qualified to help you with any problems you might have.”

    Customer: “You’re the first female tech I’ve spoken to. You must really be good.”

    Technician: “Thank you.”

    Customer: “Do you ever get nasty comments?”

    Technician: “Unfortunately, yes I do sometimes. I’ve learnt to deal with them.”

    Customer: “Well, they can all stick it where it don’t shine! And if you’re seriously having trouble with a particular guy, let me know and I’ll make sure they’ll regret it!”

    (From then on, this customer always asked for our female technician.)