(A customer has no power to a CD-ROM drive and has a disc stuck inside.)

Me: “Okay, here’s what you have to do. You need to find yourself a paperclip and unbend it a bit, so you have something to stick in the little hole next to the volume dial.”

Customer: “So… a paperclip, you say? Can I order that from you? I’m not sure what that is…”

(Client, a postman, walks in with his older machine. He sets it down on the desk, I turn it on and dust comes out the back. He explains how slow it’s been and how much he hates Windows Millennium Edition.)

Me: “We can fix that up for you, but with the cost of the upgrade to Windows XP, the memory to support it, etc, it might be wise just to purchase a new computer and transfer the data.”

Him: “Nah, that’s alright. I like this one.”

(I go around the desk to fetch his paper work. He somehow finds a paper clip and decides to remove the dust on the back of his power supply fan with it. Shortly thereafter, a blue flash comes out the back, he jumps a bit, and the computer turns off.)

Him: “Yanno what, I’ll just get that data backup.”

Me: “One moment, please…”

(Every customer in line and all of my employees cried laughing. Poor guy.)