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  • You’re Really Pushing My Buttons Today

    | Oregon, USA | Technology

    (I am an administrator at a computer lab.)

    User: “Hey, can I use one of your computers?”

    Me: “Sure, station #3 is free.”

    User: “But the screen is dark.”

    Me: “It’s just the screen saver. Press a button, and it’ll go away.”

    (She presses the power button, effectively turning the computer off.)

    User: “But it’s still dark!”

    T-Minus Five Seconds Until YouTube

    , | Portland, OR, USA |

    (A student needed a stack of VHS tapes converted to DVD.  The first couple tapes were nothing special but the third  looked like the camera had been set up in a hotel room. The three of us working in the lab were wondering if it was even her tape until we saw the student sit down on the bed.  Then she laid back. Then someone else stepped into the frame and started taking off her shirt.  I ran to the phone to call the student while a crowd gathered in front of the computer.)

    Me: “Hi, this is *** from the lab. ¬†We’re working on your tapes right now but we’re not quite sure about one of them.”

    Her: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, one of them seems like it might have slipped into the stack accidentally.”

    Her: “One of mine? Wha–OH MY GOD! ¬†The sex tape?!”

    Me: “That’s what it looks like.”

    Her: “Oh my god! Just box it up and hide it. ¬†I’ll be right down to pick it up!”

    Me: “I’ll pull it right away.”

    Her: “Please, don’t let anyone else watch it!”

    *people cheer excitedly in the back of the lab*

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve already shut it off.”

    Zero Short Term Memory, Part 2

    , | New Brunswick, NJ, USA |

    (There is an ID check to enter the lab and to print.)

    Me: “Hi, can I see your ID please?”

    Guy: “No, I don’t need ID to come in here.”

    Me: “Yes, at this lab it is required.”

    Guy: “But I don’t need an ID to come in!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I really need your ID or I can’t let you come into the lab.”

    Guy: “Oh I need ID to come in? Why didn’t you just ask me for it?!”

    Me: *headdesk*

    Related:
    Zero Short Term Memory
    Short Term Memory Is For The Weak

    Internet = Tubes, Word = Sheets

    | USA | Top

    Woman 1: “What is that little trash can on the screen?”

    Woman 2: “My son says that is called the ‘recycle bin’. He tells me when I don’t want a Word document anymore and I delete it, it really goes in there.”

    Woman 1: “Why in the recycle thingy? Can’t you just erase it?”

    Woman 2: “Oh no, Word wouldn’t work for very long if I did that, I would run out of blank pages.”

    Woman 1: “Why?”

    Woman 2: “Because it cleans the words off the pages, then sends the blank sheets back to Word so they can be used again. That’s why it’s called the recycle bin.”

    Source

    Honesty Is Always The Best Policy =P

    , | Texas, USA | Top

    Customer 1: “… ah, okay. Thanks for your help.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here for.”

    Customer 2: “I need help…”

    Me: “… and that is how it’s done.”

    Customer 2: “That was simple. You made me feel dumb.”

    Me: “That’s what I’m here… I mean…” (I didn’t know what to say from there)