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    Morpheus, Tarantino, And The Green Lantern Walk Into A Bar

    | Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Geeks Rule

    (It’s a slow day and there haven’t been many customers come through. Around lunch time two teenagers, a girl and a boy come into the store and start browsing through the boxes of comic books. I overhear snippets of their conversation; the boy seems to have no idea of anything that he is seeing, while the girl does. They stop in front of a large poster commemorating 20 years of Sandman comics. The boy reads from a list one character is holding.)

    Boy: “Death… Despair… Morpheus!” *to the girl* “Help me find Morpheus!”

    Girl: “Who?”

    Boy: “Morpheus! You know big dude from the Matrix series?”

    Girl: “I know, but you do realise he won’t be there, right?”

    Boy: “His name is on the list. And this is a comic book store, he should be on there!”

    Girl: “Dude, really? The poster says that it’s from the Sandman series. Why do you expect a guy from The Matrix to be there? Morpheus was a god of the realm of sleep and dreams, and if you look at the other names on that list they seem pretty god-like. There isn’t a big black dude on that poster and if I were to hazard a guess, he would be Morpheus.” *points to a figure on the poster* “You’re a bit embarrassing.”

    (She moves away to look at the collectible figurines from movies and television shows while he continues to puzzle over the poster. He eventually comes over and accidentally knocks some of the toys off of the shelf. She cringes while he’s picking them back up.)

    Girl: Oh hey, that’s a Kill Bill action figure!”

    Boy: “What’s Kill Bill?”

    Girl: “Are you kidding? Kill Bill is probably one of the best films Tarantino has made!”

    (They move to leave, when the girl comes over and looks at the box of badges on the counter. The boy grabs her by the elbow and pulls her out of the store.)

    Girl: “But.. but… the Lantern Corps insignias were on those! Beware my power, Green Lantern’s LIGHT!”

    He Can Light Up The Sky(rim)

    | Cambridge, MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Geeks Rule

    (I work in a small comic shop. Our bathroom lights don’t work quite right. Once you flip on the switch, they do light up, about five seconds later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, the lights in your bathroom don’t work. I think it’s a dead bulb.”

    Me: “Oh, no, they work. You just need to—”

    Customer: “No, they don’t! Come with me, let me show you!”

    (The customer leads me to the bathrooms, I follow. He flips the switch on and off a few times, leaving it in the off position.)

    Customer: “See? Can you give maintenance a call or something?”

    Me: “Hold on, I can fix this…”

    (As I take a step into the bathroom, I flick the switch on behind me, then count out the time it takes for the lights to power up. Just as the lights power on, I shout…)

    Me: “STRUN BAH QO!”

    (For those that don’t know, that’s ‘Storm Call’ in Skyrim.)

    Customer: “T-The Dragonborn…”

    Has Faith But Lost All Pope, Part 2

    | MD, USA |

    Customer: “Do you have any books on drawing people? My son loves to draw. I want to encourage him.”

    Me: “This one is really good for understanding anatomy. It uses examples from classical art.”

    Customer: *very snidely* “I could do without all the nudity. It’s not very Christian.”

    Me: “That’s the Sistine Chapel ceiling, ma’am. It’s where the Pope preaches.”

    Related:
    Has Faith But Lost All Pope

    Rated R For Reality

    | New York, NY, USA |

    (A customer comes up to the register with three under 5-year-old kids with a “Watchmen” graphic novel.)

    Me: “Hi! So have you seen Watchmen yet?”

    Customer: “No, we are going right after this.”

    Me: “You do know that Watchmen is a very violent movie geared towards adults, right?”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s okay. We’re from the Bronx.”

    Come To Think Of It, He Is Pretty Incredible

    , | Glen Rock, NJ, USA |

    (I was in the store buying my comics when a lady walked in.)

    Lady: “Hi, can I get some comics appraised?”

    Worker: “Okay, what comics are they, and where are they?”

    Lady: “The comics are in my car. I’ve got a bunch of Marvel comics that I don’t need. I got a bunch of Spider-Man and I got the Fantastic Four from the ’50′s. Oh, I also got that comic… whats it called… The Incredible Hulk Hogan?”

    Worker: “You mean, the Incredible Hulk?”

    Lady: “Yeah, that’s it!”

    Me/My friends: “…”

    (As soon as she walked out the store, everybody started to laugh.)