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    And We Wonder Who Clicks On Spam, Part 2

    , | Indiana, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling tech support, may I have your university user name?”

    Caller: “What’s a user’s name?”

    Me: “Oh… well, how are you affiliated with [university]?

    Caller: “It’s what came up on my screen.”

    Me: “Okay… well, I’m sorry, but this help desk is only for students, staff, and faculty of our university.”

    Caller: “But the page said to call!”

    Me: “Yes. If you’re in any way affiliated with us we’d be happy to help you, but this service is for students, staff, and faculty.

    Caller: “But it didn’t say that, it just said to call!”

    Me: “Well, I apologize, but you can’t just call any number on the internet and expect support!”

    Caller: “Well, why not?!” *hangs up*

    Related:
    And We Wonder Who Clicks On Spam…

    Ah, College

    | Durham, NH, USA |

    Female student: *runs through the university library lobby wearing only a string bikini top, hot pants, and loud flip-flops*

    Coworker: “I guess she’s in a hurry.”

    Me: “Maybe somebody found her shirt…”

    Like, OMG, You’re Stupid

    | Louisiana, USA | Top

    (I’m a desk assistant at a college dorm. One day, these two giggly freshman girls come up to me.)

    Girl #1: “Ummm… can we, like, borrow your phonebook?”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    Girl #1: *flips through the book, looking completely dumbfounded*

    Me: “Need help finding something?”

    Girl #2: *whispers* “Jason’s is under ‘J’.”

    Girl #1: *whispers back* “I know, but sometimes I forget the alphabet…”

    Girl #2: “OmiGAWD me too!”¬†*giggle giggle*

    (I grab the phonebook and look up their listing.)

    Me: “Here–Jason’s.”

    Girl #1: “Oh my GAWD thank you! They should really have a college course for, like, phone books! I’m not from this town, so, ya know…”

    Living On The Edge, Part 2

    , , | Philadelphia, PA, USA |

    Me: “Thanks for your purchase. Would you please sign anywhere on the receipt?”

    Customer:¬†”Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no line!”

    Me: “That’s right–the printer doesn’t draw a line for this type of receipt, so just sign anywhere on the receipt.”

    Customer: “Anywhere?”

    Me: “Anywhere.”

    Customer: “But there’s no LINE!”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Related:
    Living On The Edge

    T-Minus Five Seconds Until YouTube

    , | Portland, OR, USA |

    (A student needed a stack of VHS tapes converted to DVD.  The first couple tapes were nothing special but the third  looked like the camera had been set up in a hotel room. The three of us working in the lab were wondering if it was even her tape until we saw the student sit down on the bed.  Then she laid back. Then someone else stepped into the frame and started taking off her shirt.  I ran to the phone to call the student while a crowd gathered in front of the computer.)

    Me: “Hi, this is *** from the lab. ¬†We’re working on your tapes right now but we’re not quite sure about one of them.”

    Her: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, one of them seems like it might have slipped into the stack accidentally.”

    Her: “One of mine? Wha–OH MY GOD! ¬†The sex tape?!”

    Me: “That’s what it looks like.”

    Her: “Oh my god! Just box it up and hide it. ¬†I’ll be right down to pick it up!”

    Me: “I’ll pull it right away.”

    Her: “Please, don’t let anyone else watch it!”

    *people cheer excitedly in the back of the lab*

    Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. I’ve already shut it off.”


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