Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,641 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Waste Not, Want Not, Part 2

    , | Hudson Valley, NY, USA | Food & Drink

    (It’s about two hours before closing and I’m cleaning up our breakfast area, which includes two rotating ovens that often have burnt bagels sitting in the back of them. A customer comes over after I’ve thrown the remaining ones in the trash. Keep in mind it’s late at night.)

    Customer: “What are you doing?”

    Me: “I’m cleaning up the bagels for the night. I can’t believe the amount of bagels people leave here sometimes.”

    (The customer points at one of the more badly burnt bagels in the trash.)

    Customer: “That’s mine.”

    Me: *jokingly* “I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t suppose you still want it, do you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I do.” *takes it out of the trash and walks off*

    Related:
    Waste Not, Want Not

    Deferred Gratification 101

    | Georgia, USA | School

    (I work in a campus post office for students only. Package slips are put in the boxes and an e-mail is sent to the student’s school e-mail address when they receive a package.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Student: “Hi, do I have a package?”

    Me: “Did you have a package slip in your box? I need that.”

    Student: “No, I didn’t get one.”

    (I go to the back and check anyway because one of the workers often forgets to put the slips in the boxes during her shift.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t see any package with your name.”

    Student: “Could you check again?”

    Me: “There were only 6 packages, and I’m sure none of them were for you. Did you get an email saying your package had arrived?”

    Student: “No.”

    Me: “Did the tracking number say it had been delivered?”

    Student: “Oh, no, the tracking number didn’t have any information on it.”

    (I go online to double check her tracking number.)

    Me: “It says here that you ordered the package only three hours ago.”

    Student: “Yeah, so it’s not here yet?”

    Me: “No. It says here that it’s coming from out of the country. It could take up to a month for it to arrive depending on how long it takes to get through customs, but it usually takes two or three weeks.”

    Student: “Oh…well, okay. I’ll come back to check tomorrow then!”

    No, Not That Kind Of Flash Pass

    | Edinburgh, UK | School, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m working during a night shift. A girl enters the lobby in her pajamas.)

    Student: “Um, hi. I’ve locked myself out of my room.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. As you know, the access fee is £5.”

    Student: “Yes, I know, but I don’t have any money with me. Everything is in my room.”

    Me: “Well, I can’t let you back in until we get £5 from you, but I can take it from your deposit if you like.”

    Student: “No, no! You can’t do that. My mum will kill me!”

    Me: “It’s either that, or you give me £5 cash right now. There is no alternative.”

    (The girl awkwardly pauses.)

    Student: “Are you sure?”

    (The girl gives him a cheeky look before taking off her top completely, exposing her naked front. I stare in shock, before quickly regaining my composure.)

    Me: “Well, those are very nice. Now, that’ll be £5 please.”

    Stupidity As Clear As Sierra Mist

    | Columbia, MO, USA |

    (I’m working at the student dining hall on a busy Thanksgiving dinner as a supervisor. A student walks up with a glass of ice in hand.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but your Sierra Mist is out.”

    Me: “Oh, no problem, ma’am. Let me go downstairs and I’ll take a look.”

    (I walk downstairs and check the soda dispenser. The Sierra Mist is half-empty, but still functional. I tell her it should be fine. She comes back ten minutes later.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I asked you to fix the Sierra Mist and it is still not fixed.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just checked it and it’s full.”

    Customer: “You’re lying. It isn’t working at all.”

    (I walk over to the dispenser and place a cup underneath the Sierra Mist and out pours clear, bubbly Sierra Mist.)

    Me: “See, ma’am? It’s just fine.”

    Customer: “No! It’s clear! See? It’s clear! The bottle is green. Sierra Mist is green!”

    Wake Up And Smell The Fumes

    | Orange County, CA, USA | Top

    (I’m a public safety officer in charge of the entire campus over the weekend. A large building has been locked, secured, and the key card access has been turned off because the building is being fumigated. I get a call on my work phone.)

    Me: “Campus safety, how can I help you?”

    Faculty: “Hi, I need to get into [building].”

    Me: “Sorry, that building is closed for fumigation.”

    Faculty: “I know, I left something in my office that’s really important. I need to go up and get it.”

    Me: “I understand, but the entire building is locked up so no one can get in.”

    Faculty: “I know, I have been trying to get in. They must have shut off the keycard readers.”

    Me: “You’re trying to get in? You can’t sir. The entire building is filled with toxic fumes.”

    Faculty: “I know that! I just need to get in real fast and grab something.”

    (His office is actually on the 4th floor. Even running and taking the elevator could be a 6-10 minute round trip in poisonous gas.)

    Me: “Sir, I can’t let you in. You could become seriously ill from the fumes. I can’t take that responsibility.”

    Faculty: “What if I wrote you a note saying it was okay?”

    Me: “That likely wouldn’t protect me from much if I let you in and you collapse. Then I would have to go in and get you and compromise my health and safety.”

    Faculty: “But you’re Campus Safety! Isn’t it your job to do that?”

    Me: “I’m ensuring your safety by not letting you in a poison-filled death trap.”

    Faculty: “Fine, then!” *hangs up*


    Page 10/22First...89101112...Last