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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Far Away From The Solution

    | MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

    (I work in the IT Help Desk at a university.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, you’re really far away from the microphone. I can’t hear you. Please repeat the info.”

    Caller: *repeats info*

    Me: “I just cannot hear you. You’re really far away.”

    Caller: “Well, yeah, it’s a Skype call and I’m in Ireland, so of course it’s far away.”

    Me: “…”

    A Probing Set Of Questions

    , | Ithaca, NY, USA | Bizarre, School

    (Our college has students that work with the officers of public safety to help patrol the college and dorms at night. Other students like to tease us to varying degrees. This conversation takes place with a student who is tipsy but still being rather polite.)

    Student: “What if I took off running right now?”

    Me: *jokingly* “That’s what the flashlight is for.”

    Student: “What if you miss?”

    Me: “That’s what the radio is for.”

    Student: “What if you miss?”

    Me: “That’s what the probie is for.” *look at my partner* “Go fetch.”

    His Explanation Isn’t Kosher

    , | NY, USA | Religion

    (I work in a college dining hall in the kosher kitchen.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, so what is kosher anyways?”

    Me: “Well, it’s—”

    Customer #2: “It means the food has been watched over by one of their priests.”

    Me: “No, actually, that’s a common misconception. It’s actually—”

    Customer #2: “No, it’s not. That’s how it works. Clearly, you don’t know what you’re talking about.” *the guy is wearing a cross around his neck*

    Me: “That’d be amazing, considering I’m an Orthodox Jew and I’ve kept kosher all my life. I wasn’t aware that non-Jews knew more about my religion than I do. Please, go on.”

    (Customer #2 huffed and left. His friend looked slightly embarrassed and hurried away before I can continue my explanation.)

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 10

    , | Rexburg, ID, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

    (I’m the supervisor at a university library closing on a Friday night, when we close earlier. We have an irate student come to the desk five minutes before we close.)

    Coworker: “How can I help you?”

    Student: “I didn’t know you guys closed early on Fridays. I need you to stay open for me!”

    Coworker: “Our hours are posted, and we don’t have the power to keep the library open.”

    Student: “You don’t know anything! I want to speak to your supervisor!”

    (I step in at this point.)

    Me: “What can I do for you?”

    Student: “I just started a test! I need you guys to stay open for another hour!”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we don’t have the power to keep the library open past hours.”

    Student: “You just don’t know you can do something! Well, I’m going to stay, whether open or closed!”

    (The student stormed off, and security escorted him out at closing.)

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 9
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 8
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 7

    Wipe And Gripe

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am on my way to the bathroom when a student stops me. She’s on one of our computers. All of our computers are available to the public.)

    Student: “Hey! Where’s my stuff!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Student: “I saved my stuff on here and it’s gone!”

    Me: *shocked* “Ma’am, that’s a public computer. They wipe them fairly often.”

    Student: “Other people’s stuff is on it and mine isn’t! I want my stuff!”

    Me: *attempts to see if I can find her ‘stuff’*

    Student: “I had my resume on here and everything!”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, these are public computers. Even if it hadn’t been wiped, any person can come in and delete files that are saved on here.”

    Student: “Well, that’s just stupid!”

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