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    If You Have To Ask, You’ll Never Know

    , | Canada |

    (A lady walks into the cafe, i just happen to be standing by the counter with my coworker.)

    Woman: “I’ll have *order* please”

    Coworker: “Okay, that’s $1.47.”

    (I make the coffee.)

    Woman: *leans in and whispers to me* “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Woman: “What exactly is an ‘Emo’?”

    Someone Needs To Switch To Decaf

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    (At the front bar of a certain coffee shop, as I’m In the middle of making a caramel macchiato.)

    Old, angry, hovering Customer: “What are you doing? I didn’t ask for caramel, I’m allergic! Are you trying to kill me?? I had to wait in line all this time and I can’t get a **** coffee made right!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a caramel macchiato. I’m sure this isn’t your drink; what did you have today?”

    Customer: “I had a latte. I’ve been waiting 10 minutes!”

    Me: “Ma’am, theres a latte right here on the counter right next to your handbag.”

    Customer: “Why didn’t you tell me? I’m late for my movie!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I called the drink out three times, you were standing there the whole time.”

    Customer: “You should have called louder!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I was practically yelling, I figured it was loud enough. Well there you are, have a nice day.”

    Customer: “YOU MADE ME LATE FOR MY ****** MOVIE!”

    Another customer: “You get the most evil people here don’t you?”

    Me: “LA’s finest, here’s your macchiato. Have a nice evening.”

    Being Picky Is An Exact Science

    , | Indiana, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to ****, what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a medium coffee with twenty-seven and a half sugars.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, was that…twenty-seven and a half?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “You’re sure you don’t just want the twenty-eight?”

    Customer: “Ewww, gross! That’d be too sweet.”

    Insatiable

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA |

    Me: “One tall cappucino!”

    Customer: *picks up drink, opens lid and looks inside* “Excuse me. There’s a lot of room in here. The top is nothing but foam.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s what a cappuccino is. It’s basically the same thing as a latte but with more foam.”

    Customer: “I don’t get you guys. You guys make me think I’m buying more by calling a small drink a tall, and now you just fill my drink up with foam.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. If you’d like, I could just get you a latte.”

    Customer: “No, that’s alright but I will take a passion tea lemonade.”

    (I do her order and she comes back.)

    Customer: “WHY IS THERE SO MUCH ICE?! **** YOU GUYS AND YOUR RIP OFF DRINKS!”

    (Customer storms off with drink and chucks it at the window outside.)

    Perhaps A Little Bit Too Free

    | Ventura, CA, USA | Top

    (Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”

    Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”

    Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”

    Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*

    (I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)

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