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    Murphy’s Law In Action

    | Washington, D.C., USA |

    Me: “Tall latte on the bar.”

    (The latte does not get claimed.)

    Me: “We’ve got a tall latte up here, ready for pickup.”

    (The latte still does not get claimed. We make drinks for a few other customers, giving it a few more minutes.)

    Me: “Okay, last call for a tall latte, if nobody claims it we’re pitching it.”

    (The latte once against does not get claimed.)

    Me: “Okay then…”

    (I pour the drink down the sink.)

    Me, to a coworker: “I bet that in less than 30 seconds, we’ll get someone asking about a tall latte.”

    Woman, exactly 0.0001 seconds later: “Hi, was there a tall latte?”

    When You’re A Brand W**re, Every Cent Counts

    , | Long Island, NY, USA |

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be $2.00.”

    Customer: *shocked* “What? The sign said $1.85! How can it be $2.00?”

    Me: “Yeah, $1.85 plus 15 cents for tax.”

    Customer: *sighs loudly and opens up her Chanel bag to take two dollars out of her Gucci wallet*

    Pointless Pickiness

    | Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “What can I get you?”

    Customer: “I want coffee, but I don’t want any caffeine in it.”

    Me: “So you want decaffeinated coffee?”

    Customer: “No, I want regular coffee. I also want you to take the caffeine out of it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to buy decaf if you don’t want any caffeine.”

    Customer: “Just gimme that coffee, and make sure to take the caffeine out.”

    (She turns her back for a moment to rummage through her purse. I pour her a cup of decaf anyway.)

    Me: “Here you go, ma’am!”

    Customer: “Did you take the caffeine out?”

    Me: “Yep!”

    Strange Ambitions

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada |

    Me: “Good morning, sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Ehhh…I’ll have a coffee.”

    Me: “Excellent choice, sir. What kind of coffee? Our menu’s up there on the board if you’d like, or perhaps our house coffee?”

    Customer: “What other kind of COFFEE is there? This IS a coffee shop, right?”

    Me: “Well sir, we are a specialty coffee shop, and have many different varieties. If you’d like–”

    Customer: “NO! This is so STUPID! Why would anyone bother having DIFFERENT kinds of coffee!”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Ha ha! Just kidding. I always wanted to do that.”

    (He skips out of the store. Yes, skipped. Keep in mind this is a middle-aged man.)

    The Gall To Call A Small A Tall

    | Southlake, TX, USA |

    (I work in a coffee place that has “special” names for their sizes. Since no one can ever get them right, I just started saying small, medium and large to make it easier.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a vanilla latte please.”

    Me: “Sure. Would you like the large?”

    Customer: “Yeah. That’s the small, right?”

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