November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Disco Stu Does Not Approve

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

(A man walks into our crowded coffee shop and yells at the top of his lungs.)


Supervisor: “Oh no, it’s a robbery!” *begins to call security*

Man: “…on the DANCE FLOOR!”

(The man then “dances” up to the front, past shocked customers, grabs a bottle of water, and “dances” out of the store. Security nabs him outside the door.)

Time For An Allergic Retraction

| Colorado, USA | Top

Customer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”

Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”

Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”

Customer: “That would be great.”

(I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”

Barking Up Your Own Tree

| Maryland, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: our coffee shop shares a building with a Mexican fast food place.)

Me: “Good afternoon. This is [coffee shop], *** speaking.”

Caller: “Hey, are you guys right beside [Mexican fast food place]?”

Me: “Yeah, just come in the same door.”

Caller: “Actually, I want to order from them, but they aren’t answering their phone.”

Me: “I’m sorry. Their manager comes in here fairly often. I’ll let him know he’s missing calls.”

Caller: “Will you go over and place my order for me and have it delivered?”

Me: “Ahh‚ĶI can’t do that. I don’t work for them.”

Caller: “Please? It will just take a moment.¬†I can’t leave work.”

Me: “Neither can I, sir.”

Maybe He’s Italian?

| Bay Area, CA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name please?”

Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

Customer: *tries to save face* “Err…Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”

Not Quite The Crema Of The Crop

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like a decaf espresso.”

Me: “Certainly, ma’am.”

(I deliver the espresso to the table.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but asked for decaf.”

Me: “Yes ma’am.”

Customer: “But this isn’t decaf.”

Me: “I assure you, madam, that it is decaf. We use different machines for decaf and regular.”

Customer: *gesturing at the crema* “But I can SEE the caffeine!”