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    The Epiphany To End All Epiphanies

    | San Jose, CA, USA |

    (A customer orders an iced drink.  They usually come out with flat lids, but we were completely out and were forced to use the dome ones instead.)

    Customer: “Why does this have a round lid on it? I want my drink with a flat lid instead.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re completely out of flat lids today.”

    Customer: “But I want my round lid!”

    Me: “I promise you, it will taste exactly the same.”

    Customer: “Ooohhh…”

    Behind Every Policy Is A Stupid Customer

    | Rockville, MD, USA |

    Customer: “I don’t want a lid.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it’s company policy. I have to serve your hot beverage with a lid on.”

    Customer: “This is stupid.”

    Me: “We don’t want you to burn yourself–”

    Customer: “Then I’ll just blame you.”

    Me: “… and that would be why we have the company policy.”

    Related:
    Behind Every New Sign Is Someone Stupid

    Smile, You’re On Candid Camera

    | Denver, CO, USA |

    Customer: “What do you have to eat here?”

    Me: “Whatever you see in the pastry case is to eat; we mainly serve drinks.”

    Customer: “What’s that up there? ”

    (He points to one of the boards behind me and I turn around to see what he’s pointing at. I hear a rustling noise; when I turn back around all the money in my tip cup is gone.)

    Me: “Sir? Could you do me a favor?”

    Customer: “Uh… what?”

    Me: “Look up.”

    Customer: *looks up*

    Me: “Okay, wave!”

    (I start waving at him and, completely confused, he starts to wave back.)

    Me: “Sir, that’s a camera up there.”

    Customer: “Uh… and?”

    Me: “You better put the money back.”

    Customer: “What money?”

    Me: “You know very well what money. Now, put it back and leave.”

    (He puts the money back and pouts the entire way out the doors.)

    That Was Random

    | Alpharetta, GA, USA |

    Me: “Good afternoon! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I’ll have a [frozen coffee drink], please.”

    Me: “Alrighty, that’s gonna run you $3.42.”

    Customer: “Alright.” *begins to dig around in her purse*

    Me: “I’m going to go ahead and get this started for you.”

    (As I start to make the drink, I turn to look at the woman and notice that she is slowly making her way behind the counter.)

    Me: “Uh, ma’am…”

    (The woman proceeds to walk behind the counter, walk to a sink, wash her hands, wipe her hands, throw the paper towel away, and then walk right back around the counter and straight out the door. As my coworkers and I attempt to figure out what just happened, we watch her walk by the drive-thru window, around the building, around the building NEXT to our store, and then back into the store. The woman then approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “So, what do I owe you?”

    Me: “Uh, $3.42, please.”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (An incredibly awkward silence follows.)

    Customer: “So, what just happened?”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “What just happened?”

    Me: “I’m really not sure, ma’am!”

    Drive-Thru Virgin

    | Savannah, GA, USA |

    (A customer pulls up to the drive thru and the headpiece beeps in my ear to alert me.)

    Me: ¬†”Welcome to ***** Coffee. ¬†What can I get for you?”

    Customer: *no response*

    Me: ¬†”Hello? What can I get for you?”

    Customer: *no response*

    (The customer drives up to the drive thru window.)

    Customer: “There must be something wrong with your drive-thru.¬†I kept talking but you didn’t hear me.”

    Me: “I was trying to talk to you. I know it works because I have been using it all day.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s broken now.”

    Me: “Did you roll down your window?”

    Customer: “Oh, I have to do that?”

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