Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,615 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Self Overflowing Prophecies

    | Iowa City, IA, USA | Top

    Customer: “I’d like a large coffee.”

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be $1.84. Would you like me to leave some room for cream?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I bring her the coffee with a little bit of room at the top.)

    Customer: “You didn’t fill my coffee all the way full!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I thought you wanted some room for cream.”

    Customer: “I do, but I don’t want you scamming me out of any coffee! If I pay $5 for a cup of coffee, I want my money’s worth!”

    Me: “But ma’am, I can’t fill the cup all the way to the top if you want to put cream in the coffee. It will spill over.”

    Customer: “I don’t care, just fill it!”

    (The customer goes around the corner, out of my view to the cream and sugar counter. She comes back 45 seconds later with a large coffee stain on the front of her shirt.)

    Customer: “LOOK AT ME! YOU MADE ME GET COFFEE ALL OVER MYSELF!”

    It’s Not Exactly SAT Vocabulary

    | Saginaw, Texas, USA |

    Me: “Hi welcome to [coffee shop]! What can I get started for you today?”

    Drive-through customer: “I want a mo-CHA.”

    Me: “What size?”

    Customer: “The middle one.”

    Me: “Okay, did you want that hot or iced?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Did you want that hot or iced?”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re asking. Why are you asking me so many questions? Why can’t you just make my drink?”

    Me: “I just need to know if you want it hot or iced.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference between hot and iced?”

    Me: “About a hundred and thirty degrees?”

    Customer: “Oh… hot!”

    (Of course, when she gets up to the window it turns out she wanted an iced blended mocha.)

    Military Intelligence, Part 3

    | Portsmouth, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Military, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in an English branch of a US coffee chain. Because we’re a naval town, US navy ships always stop here and the sailors come in for ‘a taste of home’…)

    Me: “Hello, what would you like?”

    Sailor 1: “One of your chocolate frappuccinos.”

    Me: “OK. What size do you want?”

    Sailor 1: “Erm… can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Yeah, go on then.”

    Sailor: “Are your frappuccinos made with ice, like they are back in the states?”

    Sailor 2: “Yeah, good point man!”

    Me: “Yes, yes they are made with ice.”

    Sailor 2: “Is that British ice or do you get it, like, flown over from the States so it tastes the same?”

    Me: “…”

    Sailor 1: “Dude! Yeah! Is it going to taste the same as it does at home?!”

    Me: “Why don’t you try it and let me know?”

    Sailors 1 & 2: “Yeahhh…”

    (Their ship was over for about a week and true to their word, they came back to inform me that their drinks did in fact taste the same as they did back home.)

    Related:
    Military Intelligence, Part 2
    Military Intelligence

    Problem Exists Between Bottle And Hand

    | Columbia, MD, USA |

    (I work for a popular coffee chain that sells bottled drinks at the counter. The bottles have a tamper-evident pop-top feature. One day, a customer approached the counter after purchasing one of these drinks.)

    Customer: “Hey, I just bought one of these things and when I opened it the cap popped up.”

    Me: “Yes, they do–”

    Customer: *interrupting* “It says ‘Do Not Drink If Button Is Up’.”

    Me: “Yes, it’s a tamper-evident button to–”

    Customer: *speaking very slowly* “I want you to understand what I’m saying here! I can’t drink this – it’s been tampered with!”

    Me: “When you opened the container, the button popped up–”

    Customer: “I’M NOT SURE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT’S HAPPENING HERE!”

    Me: *headdesk*

    What A Tangled Web We Weave

    | Northridge, CA, USA | Top

    (A customer had already ordered, picked up, and drank most of his drink. He then walked up to the counter and was very angry.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “What the f*** is this?!” *points to his cup*

    Me: “It looks like the drink I made you, and you seem to have already enjoyed it.”

    Customer: “No smart-a**…this!” *pours the drink onto the counter and a key bounces out* “What the f*** is going on here?!”

    Me: *alarmed* “I am SO sorry sir! When I made the drink, I know there wasn’t a key in it. Let me make you a new one.”

    Customer: “Yeah! You f***in’ better make me a new f***in’ drink. This is complete bulls***! You’re lucky I don’t sue you and this coffee company!”

    (I take the key and make him a new drink, and he goes and sits outside with his friends. The key wasn’t mine, so I started asking coworkers and customers. No one was claiming it. The customer walked up about 5 minutes later, bright red and embarrassed.)

    Customer: “Yeah, uh…I’m going to need my car key back so I can go home….”

    Page 51/60First...4950515253...Last