October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Not Quite Feeling It

| Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Large latte to go.”

(Well, I was feeling large latte to go that day, too.)

They Must Be Quite New To This

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I am on my second shift at a till at a new coffee shop, where I am still unfamiliar with the system and therefore very slow. Thankfully, it is at night, so the lineup is usually only two or three people and the customers spend at most three minutes waiting in line.)

Me: *to approaching customer* “Hello! How may I help you?”

Customer: *he has been waiting in line for less than a minute* “What is taking so long? The store is never this slow.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m new to working here, so I’m still learning everything.”

Customer: “They hired MORE new people?”

Me: “Yes, that’s how stores work.”

Customer: “Well they need to stop hiring so many new people! Don’t you agree?”

Me: “…no?”

(Clearly he doesn’t understand how I got my job.)

Your Day Needs A Refill

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “Hello, I didn’t like this drink. It was made wrong.”

Me: “Oh. sure. What did you order and what didn’t you like about it?”

Customer: “I bought this hot chocolate yesterday. I finished it and it just didn’t taste very good and I’d like a free refill.”

Me: “So… you want a free refill? On a drink you didn’t like and bought over 24 hours ago?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…No.”

Reached Your Tea Total

| Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “I want a full-leaf brewed tea.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “The full leaf one.”

Me: “We have a few different kinds, sir. We have mint, chai, English breakfast, zen, Earl Grey, China green tips, and passion tea. Which one did you want?”

Customer: “Which one is closest to mint?”

Me: “The mint.”

Customer: “No, besides that one.”

Me: “…The zen? I guess?”

Customer: “What does that one taste like?”

Me: “…Mint.”

Customer: “How much coffee is in it?”

I Scream For A Crouton

| Cambridge, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a coffee shop inside a bookshop. It is always very quiet in there and we are rarely very busy but the shop is popular with mothers and young children. There are two parents with their two young daughters. The girls are chatting amongst themselves but not being especially obtrusive. Two older ladies approach me at the counter.)

Old Lady #1: “Two mushroom soups, please,”

(I begin dishing up and the second old lady goes to get spoons from the stand which is about six feet away from the counter.)

Old Lady #1: “Those little ones are being awfully loud aren’t they? We came here for a bit of peace and quiet.”

Me: “I am sorry, Madam, but they’re only wee, and they don’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Now, would you like croutons with your soup?”

Old Lady #1: “Well, I certainly would and er… Hang on a tick dear—” *at the top of her voice* “MARTHA! MARTHA!”

(Old Lady #2 doesn’t react.)

Old Lady #1: *even louder* “MARTHA!”

Old Lady #2: *turns around* “WHAT?!”


Old Lady #2: “WHAT?”

Old Lady #1: “CROUTONS, MARTHA!”

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