Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Got Him Out Of A Pickle
    (2,972 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    The Caffeine Makes Us Clingy

    | Beaverton, OR, USA |

    Me: “Hi! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like an iced grande breve.”

    Me: “A latte?”

    Customer: “I don’t have to say latte!”

    Me: “I know what you mean, ma’am, but you should be careful. If you order that somewhere else, you might just get a cup of iced half and half.”

    Customer: “I don’t have to order like that at [ice cream store]!

    Me: “Ah–”

    Customer: “They’re less needy at [ice cream store]! It takes too much effort to get what I want here! GROW UP!”

    A Lesson In Latte Linguistics

    | Tampa, FL, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a GRAHN-DAY coffee. ”

    Me: “Anything else sir?”

    Customer: “This isn’t a grande!”

    Me: “You’re ordering using our competitor’s terms, sir. Their grande is our medium.”

    Customer: “Grande! Grande! BIG! Don’t you speak Spanish?!”

    Me:Si senor, hablo espanol. Quiere algo mas?”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Didn’t you just ask if I spoke Spanish?”

    Customer: “Whatever!” *pays for coffee and leaves*

    Would You Like A Foot To Go With Your Mouth

    | Virginia, USA |

    (Note: I’m a customer and overhear this exchange while waiting in line.)

    Barista: “Here’s your change… have a nice day.”

    Customer: “You know, you haven’t smiled once.”

    Barista: “Sorry.”

    Customer: “I’m so sick of the attitude of people in the service industry! Is it so hard to give your customers a smile as you’re pouring water through beans? You all are so arrogant, it makes me sick!”

    Barista: *eyes begin to well up*

    Customer: “Why aren’t you smiling?!”

    Barista: “…because my father died last night.”

    (At this point, you could hear a pin drop. The customer is literally glared out of the shop, forgetting her coffee.)

    Fattening Fallacies

    | Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada |

    Me: “Welcome to ****, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Could I get that donut right there?” *points*

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    (I put it on a plate and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Can you heat it up for me, please?”

    Me: “No problem, I’ll just be a minute.”

    Customer: “Put it in for exactly 7 seconds. If you microwave food for 7 seconds, it becomes negative calories. Did you know that?”

    Me: “Um…I don’t think that’s how food works.”

    Customer: “Well, how would you know, you’re just a part-time employee at a coffee shop.”

    Me: “I work part-time to pay for University…where I study health and nutrition…”

    Customer: “What are they teaching kids these days?!” *walks away angrily without the donut*

    Me: “Have a nice day?”

    Enigmatic Espresso

    | Oxford, AL, USA |

    Me: “Welcome to ****, what can I get started for you today?”

    Customer: *in drive-thru* “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Er…would you like any suggestions?”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t know what it is I always get. My daughter usually gets it for me.”

    Me: “OK, no big deal. Was it hot or cold?”

    Customer: “Both.”

    Me: “…was it ‘coffee’ or ‘not coffee’?

    Customer: “Hmm…I believe it was both.”

    Me: “I’m gonna go grab my manager…just a moment!”

    Manager: “Hi there, could you please describe for me what you usually get?”

    Customer: “I don’t know! My daughter gets it for me every day!”

    Manager: “Let’s break it down further…was it a solid or a liquid?”

    Customer: “Both…”

    Page 48/60First...4647484950...Last