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    Latte In The Translation

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA |

    Customer: “I want a vanilla iced latte.”

    Cashier: “Okay, anything else?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I make the drink for the customer and give it to her.)

    Me: “Here you are, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What is this? It isn’t a vanilla iced latte!”

    Me: “Yes it is, ma’am.”

    Customer: “What? No! I said I wanted a vanilla iced LA…TEA!”

    Me: “I’m not sure what you mean… we do have iced tea.”

    Customer: “I wanted a LA-TEA!”

    Customer’s husband: “She wants an iced coffee.”

    Customer: “Yes! Why are you people so stupid?! I always say the wrong thing. You should know by now what I want!”

    The Aura-oma Of Fresh Coffee

    | Lakeville, MN, USA |

    (A customer orders a Zebra Mocha, but requests ‘love’. I add the note ‘Please make with love!’ to the order. I give the drink to her, and she takes a sip.)

    Customer: “Hey! I wanted it made with LOVE! I can taste the despair and hatred!”

    Me: “Sorry, do you want me to remake it?”

    Customer: “No! I want someone else to make it. You reek of hate and despair and sadness. I want LOVE!”

    Me: “Um…okay. Well, I’m the only one here, so can I give you a refund or remake it?”

    Customer: “Fine, but remember the LOVE.”

    Me: *remakes drink* “Here you go…honey!”

    Customer: “Thanks!”

    If The Brew Fits…

    | California, USA |

    (We’ve run out of flat lids for our large cold drinks, so we’re using the domed ones instead.)

    Coworker: “I have a large iced green tea ready.”

    Customer: “Does it LOOK like I want whipped cream on that!?”

    Coworker: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we are all out of the flat lids for the venti sized drinks. I have to put a dome lid–”

    (The customer points to small-sized flat lids.)

    Customer: “Those are flat lids!”

    Coworker: “Actually, those only fit our small iced cups.”

    (The customer rolls her eyes, grabs a small flat lid, and tries to put it on her large cup. Because it’s smaller, the lid falls into her drink and spills tea all over the counter.)

    Customer: “WHY WON’T THIS FIT!?”

    Disco Stu Does Not Approve

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks into our crowded coffee shop and yells at the top of his lungs.)

    Man: “EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

    Supervisor: “Oh no, it’s a robbery!” *begins to call security*

    Man: “…on the DANCE FLOOR!”

    (The man then “dances” up to the front, past shocked customers, grabs a bottle of water, and “dances” out of the store. Security nabs him outside the door.)

    Time For An Allergic Retraction

    | Colorado, USA | Top

    Customer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”

    Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”

    Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”

    Customer: “That would be great.”

    (I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”

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