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    If The Brew Fits…

    | California, USA |

    (We’ve run out of flat lids for our large cold drinks, so we’re using the domed ones instead.)

    Coworker: “I have a large iced green tea ready.”

    Customer: “Does it LOOK like I want whipped cream on that!?”

    Coworker: “I’m really sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we are all out of the flat lids for the venti sized drinks. I have to put a dome lid–”

    (The customer points to small-sized flat lids.)

    Customer: “Those are flat lids!”

    Coworker: “Actually, those only fit our small iced cups.”

    (The customer rolls her eyes, grabs a small flat lid, and tries to put it on her large cup. Because it’s smaller, the lid falls into her drink and spills tea all over the counter.)

    Customer: “WHY WON’T THIS FIT!?”

    Disco Stu Does Not Approve

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (A man walks into our crowded coffee shop and yells at the top of his lungs.)

    Man: “EVERYBODY GET DOWN!”

    Supervisor: “Oh no, it’s a robbery!” *begins to call security*

    Man: “…on the DANCE FLOOR!”

    (The man then “dances” up to the front, past shocked customers, grabs a bottle of water, and “dances” out of the store. Security nabs him outside the door.)

    Time For An Allergic Retraction

    | Colorado, USA | Top

    Customer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”

    Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”

    Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”

    Customer: “That would be great.”

    (I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)

    Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”

    Barking Up Your Own Tree

    | Maryland, USA |

    (Note: our coffee shop shares a building with a Mexican fast food place.)

    Me: “Good afternoon. This is [coffee shop], *** speaking.”

    Caller: “Hey, are you guys right beside [Mexican fast food place]?”

    Me: “Yeah, just come in the same door.”

    Caller: “Actually, I want to order from them, but they aren’t answering their phone.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Their manager comes in here fairly often. I’ll let him know he’s missing calls.”

    Caller: “Will you go over and place my order for me and have it delivered?”

    Me: “Ahh‚ĶI can’t do that. I don’t work for them.”

    Caller: “Please? It will just take a moment.¬†I can’t leave work.”

    Me: “Neither can I, sir.”

    Maybe He’s Italian?

    | Bay Area, CA, USA |

    Customer: “I’ll take a small cappuccino.”

    Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

    Customer: “Just a small cappuccino.”

    Me: “Okay, I got that. May I have your name please?”

    Customer: “Small cappuccino.”

    Me: “No, sir, I need your name for the order so we can call it out when your order’s ready.”

    Customer: *tries to save face* “Err…Small Cappuccino. My name is Small Cappuccino!”


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