Featured Story:
  • A Total Brazil Nut
    (1,446 thumbs up)
  • If At First You Don’t Succeed, Chai Again

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | Liars & Scammers, Uncategorized

    Customer: “I came in here yesterday and ordered a chai tea and you guys gave me a mocha. That was not what I ordered!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I apologize if somehow they got messed up.”

    Customer: “Well, I want some sort of gift card or compensation. I am allergic to caffeine. It could have killed me!”

    Me: “You are allergic to caffeine but you ordered a chai tea? You do realize that chai is a black tea and highly caffeinated, right?”

    Customer: “I meant chocolate. I am allergic to chocolate!”

    (I look down at two chocolate bars in her hand.)

    Me: “Really?”

    Customer: “Oh f*** you!”

    Peppering The Truth With Lies

    | Hinton, WV, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Can I get a peppermint tea please?”

    Me: “Okay, what size of mint tea would you like?”

    Customer: “I want a large and I want a peppermint tea. Not a mint tea.”

    Me: “They are both the same thing.”

    Customer: “No they aren’t! Peppermint tea has pepper in it!”

    A-Paul-ing Service

    | Carpinteria, CA, USA | Funny Names, Uncategorized

    (I am making drinks and I notice a small mocha for Paul. We have a regular customer named Paul who always orders a small mocha, but at that moment I couldn’t remember whether or not he liked it with whipped cream.)

    Me: *calling out* “Paul? Did you want whipped cream on your mocha?”

    Customer: *not a regular* “Yes, I wanted whipped cream.”

    (I realize that this might be a drink for a different customer also named Paul. I add the whipped cream and hand it off with a smile.)

    Me: “Here you go, a small mocha with whipped cream. Have a nice day, Paul.”

    Customer: “I ordered a large.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Let me remake that for you.”

    (I make a new drink, figuring that one of my co-workers might have grabbed the wrong size in the rush.)

    Me: “Here’s your large mocha with whipped cream. Sorry for the mix-up, Paul.”

    Customer: “I ordered a pumpkin spice latte.”

    (I start my third attempt at making a drink for this customer.)

    Customer: “…and my name isn’t Paul.”

    Coffee Can Cause Great Dis-Stain

    | New Jersey, USA | Spouses & Partners, Uncategorized

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like a mocha latte cappuccino.”

    Me: “Okay, which one of those would you like?”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, those are three different things. A mocha, a latte, or a cappuccino?”

    Customer: “No, they’re not! That’s what I want!”

    Me: “Ma’am, technically–”

    Customer: “Just get me what my husband always orders!”

    Me: “What does your husband always order?”

    Customer: “You know, some…coffee thing!”

    Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Pets & Animals, Uncategorized

    Me: “That’ll be $*.**. Also, would you also like to make a donation to our water conservation fund?”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “It helps to save habitats for animals and–”

    Customer: “But why would we need to pay for that? Water doesn’t run out. I’ve left my faucets on all day and water came out the whole time! And besides I only drink coffee, not water.”

    Page 44/63First...4243444546...Last