Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,846 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Bananas Can Taste Of Bitter Disappointment

    | San Diego, CA, USA |

    (We sell bananas next to the cash register with a sign fixture that reads: ‘Bananas – 90 cents!’.)

    Me: “Here’s your tall coffee, sir.”

    Customer: *looking at bananas* “Oh, so that’s what you call them! ‘Tropical Paradise Bars’. I’ve been calling them bananas my whole life!”

    (I see the banana sign has accidentally been flipped over to read ‘Tropical Paradise Bars – $2.25’.)

    Me: “Oh, that’s the wrong sign.” *flips sign back over*

    Customer: “Oh. Never mind then.” *walks away looking disappointed*

    Purell-y Out Of His Mind

    | Atlanta, GA, USA |

    Customer: “Mmm, it smells great in here! I sure do love the coffee here at [coffee shop]!”

    Me: “Well, I’m glad! Would you like a coffee then?”

    Customer: “So tell me, how do you brew your coffee here? Is this your coffee making machine?”

    Me: “Yes sir, it is.”

    Customer: “Tell me, young woman, how does this machine work? How do you clean it?”

    Me: “Well, we put coffee in these baskets, and it brews in to these pots. We clean them with–”

    Customer: “Because, see, I have a fantastic business idea for you! It will be a great investment opportunity, a revolutionary way to brew coffee! I will share stock with you, if you help me!”

    Me: “Sir, if you have a suggestion, your best bet would be to submit it to [company website]. I don’t control what equipment we use or how we brew coffee. Can I get you a drink?”

    Customer: “Because, see, I love coffee! But my clothes are never clean! And you know that sanitizer stuff…what’s it called…Purell?”

    Me: “Uhh…I guess.”

    Customer: “Right! So, see…what you need to do is put the Purell in the coffee and then brew it. Then, when I drink the coffee, it will be sanitized, and when the coffee seeps out my pores, it will clean my clothes while I am wearing them! It is revolutionary!”

    Me: “Sir, again, I don’t control operations here, so you need to submit this idea to our corporate office. I can’t help you.”

    Customer: “It will save so much time! I have a whole system worked out. I call it ‘Pizazz.’ Would you like to be a shareholder with me? We will make so much money!”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    Customer: “PIZAZZ! Don’t you get it? Pores. Clothes. Cleaning! Would anybody else that works here like to buy stock?”

    Me: “Sir, I doubt it.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you so very much for your time. It will be a revolution! You are beautiful!” *wanders out the door, still rambling about his big idea*

    No Shirt, No Brains, No Service

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada |

    (Although I normally work nights, I’m taking another drive-thru shift for a friend.)

    Me: “Welcome to [coffee shop]. May I take your order, please?”

    Customer: “Chicken wrap guy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Chicken wrap guy.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not the girl that normally works drive-thru. We switched shifts.”

    Customer: “So you don’t know my order then?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but I don’t. What would you like?”

    Customer: “Crap. Now I have to remember what I eat!”

    Cup Is Half Full, Brain Is Sadly Not

    | Florida, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Do you have decaf?”

    Me: “We do. What size would you like?”

    Customer: “Well, I was wondering if I could have half decaf and half regular?”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    Customer: “If I do that, which one will be on the top?”

    May We Suggest The Decaf

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    Coworker: “Hi there, what can we get you today?”

    Customer: “I want a mocha with THIS much coffee in it.”

    Coworker: “Alright, so about two inches of brewed coffee as well as the espresso and all the other stuff?”

    Customer: “What is it with you people? How come every time I go here, you have to ask me a million questions? Are you all stupid? All I want is a mocha with coffee!”

    Me: “We just want to make sure we make your drink the way you want it.”

    Customer: “So what? I don’t care! I’m not answering anymore questions! Just make me my drink!”

    Me: “Okay, so I’m just going to put coffee in the cup with–”

    Customer: “No! No, no, no, not coffee! Mocha! MOCHA! Mocha with THIS much coffee!”

    Me: “So, no coffee. Do you just want a mocha with two inches of espresso then? It usually only comes with–”

    Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me! You are all idiots! Let me tell you step by step how to do it. First, walk over to that machine over there and put that brown stuff, COFFEE, into the cup to THIS line and then add the shot…and chocolate…and milk!”

    Me: “So you do want brewed coffee in it?”

    Customer: “JUST DO IT!”

    Page 44/61First...4243444546...Last