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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Reached Your Tea Total

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I want a full-leaf brewed tea.”

    Me: “Okay, which one?”

    Customer: “The full leaf one.”

    Me: “We have a few different kinds, sir. We have mint, chai, English breakfast, zen, Earl Grey, China green tips, and passion tea. Which one did you want?”

    Customer: “Which one is closest to mint?”

    Me: “The mint.”

    Customer: “No, besides that one.”

    Me: “…The zen? I guess?”

    Customer: “What does that one taste like?”

    Me: “…Mint.”

    Customer: “How much coffee is in it?”

    I Scream For A Crouton

    | Cambridge, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a coffee shop inside a bookshop. It is always very quiet in there and we are rarely very busy but the shop is popular with mothers and young children. There are two parents with their two young daughters. The girls are chatting amongst themselves but not being especially obtrusive. Two older ladies approach me at the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Two mushroom soups, please,”

    (I begin dishing up and the second old lady goes to get spoons from the stand which is about six feet away from the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Those little ones are being awfully loud aren’t they? We came here for a bit of peace and quiet.”

    Me: “I am sorry, Madam, but they’re only wee, and they don’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Now, would you like croutons with your soup?”

    Old Lady #1: “Well, I certainly would and er… Hang on a tick dear—” *at the top of her voice* “MARTHA! MARTHA!”

    (Old Lady #2 doesn’t react.)

    Old Lady #1: *even louder* “MARTHA!”

    Old Lady #2: *turns around* “WHAT?!”

    Old Lady #1: “DO YOU WANT CROUTONS?!”

    Old Lady #2: “WHAT?”

    Old Lady #1: “CROUTONS, MARTHA!”

    Playing (Hunger) Games With Your Orders

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I work at a coffee shop on my university campus. This happens way more often than it should, especially if my friends drop by when I’m working:)

    Me: “All right, one regular soy mocha latte. Can I get a name for the order?”

    Customer: “Primrose Everdeen.”

    (A few minutes later:)

    Coworker: “Okay, regular soy mocha latte for…” *he reads the name on the cup* “…aww, Christ. Primrose Everdeen?

    Customer’s Friend: *at the top of her lungs* “I VOLUNTEER!”

    Coworker: “You guys realise that stopped being funny last year, right?”

    I’ll Have My Usual Irregular

    | Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am another customer in this story standing at the drink counter stirring my coffee when two drinks come ready at the same time. Despite the drinks being different sizes, very different contents, and called out with both to a shop quiet enough to be heard easily, both customers reach for the same drink.)

    Customer #1: “Yours is the grande.”

    Customer #2: “Are you sure?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I had a tall.”

    Customer #2: “I guess I forgot what my regular is.”

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3

    | Cicero, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (After ordering a breakfast sandwich with only sausage and cheese, a customer comes back with said sandwich with a few bites taken.)

    Customer: “I can’t eat this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. Is there a problem with your order?”

    Customer: “I can’t eat meat. I’m allergic.”

    (Confused on why she ordered it in the first place, I offer her something else or her money back.)

    Customer: “Just make me a sandwich with ham and cheese.”

    Me: “Um, you just told me you’re allergic to meats.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Ham is a meat.”

    Customer: “I’m allergic to that meat.” *points at sandwich*

    Me: “You’re only allergic to that type of sausage?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s why I’m telling you to make me a sandwich with ham instead!”

    Me: “Are you sure you just didn’t like it?”

    Customer: “Are you calling me a liar?!”

    Me: “Well, it’s just that our sausage is made from pork. Now you’re asking for ham.”

    Customer: “What’s your point?”

    Me: “Ham is a pork product. If you eat this, I may have to call a paramedic in due to your throat possibly swelling. We wouldn’t want to risk your life, miss.”

    Customer: “…I didn’t like the sausage.”

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    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
    Allergic To Common Sense

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