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    Ah, Children

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Top

    (A customer approaches with her 2 year old son in arms, and her 5 year old daughter. As she is about to order, a customer from a few minutes earlier storms in front of her. She is yelling and screaming incoherently, and throws her drink on the counter.)

    Daughter, to her mother: “Mummy, why is the lady yelling?”

    Mother: “Never mind it, she’s just being rude.”

    (The little girl scowls, and points at the customer.)

    Daughter: “You cut that out right now! You need to be more polite!”

    (Taking example from his sister, the toddler starts pointing and yelling.)

    Toddler: “BAD! BAD!”

    (The irate customer is embarrassed. She shuts up and storms out. The little girl gets a free hot chocolate.)

    Ah, Parents

    An Abbreviation Abberation

    | Humboldt, CA, USA |

    (I’ve just finished making a sandwich for a customer. I am new at this, so he double checks what I do.)

    Customer: “Did you forget anything?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You remembered the cucumbers and turkey?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And the lettuce?”

    Me: “And the tomatoes, pickles, mustard and mayo, sir. It’s written on the–”

    Customer: “Mayo? What the h*** is that? And you left out the mayonnaise! Why did you do that?”

    Me: “But, that’s what I said.”

    Customer: “No! You said mayo! That’s not what I wanted!”

    Me: “I put in mayonnaise. Mayo is just an abbreviation.”

    Customer: “Abbreviation? What’s that, some kind of fruit?”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    | Simsbury, CT, USA |

    Customer: “I need something without coffee in it.”

    Me: “Ok, what would you like?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large mocha?”

    Me: “That has coffee in it, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t. It says espresso on the board.”

    Me: “Espresso is coffee.”

    Customer: “All this time I’ve been drinking coffee!? No wonder I haven’t been able to sleep!”

    Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself
    Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems

    Your Two-fer Just Went Poofer

    | USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a grande white mocha and a tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $*.**.”

    Customer: “What? For one drink? That’s impossible!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. I thought I heard you order two drinks. What did you order?”

    Customer: “A tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me, to coworker: “Forget the white mocha.”

    Customer: “No! I still want it!”

    Me: “Oh, so you just wanted me to ring the two drinks separately?”

    Customer: “No! I want it, but I don’t want you to ring it up.”

    Me: *blank stare*

    Customer: “Oh. I guess I’m not getting away with it, am I?”

    Me: “Nope.”

    Conjured Coffee Conjugations

    | Wexford, Ireland |

    Me: “Excuse me, madam. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Thanks, I’ll have a ‘MochaChinaFrappaLatte’ please.”

    Me: “Sorry, madam, but those are each separate coffees. Mocha, cappuccino, frappe and a latte?”

    Customer: “Oh. I just heard it on TV and I thought it sounded cool…”

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