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    Conjured Coffee Conjugations

    | Wexford, Ireland |

    Me: “Excuse me, madam. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Thanks, I’ll have a ‘MochaChinaFrappaLatte’ please.”

    Me: “Sorry, madam, but those are each separate coffees. Mocha, cappuccino, frappe and a latte?”

    Customer: “Oh. I just heard it on TV and I thought it sounded cool…”

    Identity TV Determined

    | Wasaga Beach, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “Are you on the show [T.V. show]?”

    Me: “Pardon me?”

    Customer: “You know the show [T.V. show]? Are you on it? Cause you really look like a character on it.”

    Me: “No, I am sorry I am not.”

    Customer: “Are you lying to me? I am pretty sure you are that girl from [T.V. show]!”

    Me: “No, I work at [coffee shop], not on a television show.”

    (This went on until my manager had to step in.)

    Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes she is on [T.V. show], she just likes to fly hundreds of kilometers back to Wasaga to work at [coffee shop] because she needs extra money.”

    Customer: “I knew it!”

    (Later on, she brought her boyfriend back and tried to convince me to give her an autograph.)

    One Telepath On The Rocks

    | Buffalo, NY, USA |

    (I am handing off an iced tea to one of my regular customers.)

    Me: *maintaining eye contact with my regular customer* “Here’s your drink!”

    Random Other Customer: *yelling* “That’s not my drink!”

    Me: “I know, its for [regular's name].”

    (I check the queue to find that there aren’t any more drinks to be made.)

    Me: “What drink did you have?”

    Random Other Customer: “Oh, I didn’t order yet.”

    Nobody Nose

    | Columbia City, IN, USA |

    (Our shop offers free wireless internet with any purchase. We keep it password-protected ever since we discovered the neighbors were stealing it. I give the password out at the register; changing it once a week and keeping it as random as possible.)

    Customer: “What’s the password today?”

    Me: “Nostrils.”

    Customer: “What the h*** kind of password is that? I never would have guessed that!”

    Some Customers Are Completely See Through, Part 2

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I’d like a caramel apple latte, please.”

    Me: “Certainly, would you like that to go or in a mug?”

    Customer: “A mug please.”

    (I grab a ceramic mug and start to prepare the drink.)

    Customer: “What? No, I want a glass mug, like the one in that poster over there.”

    Me: “Sorry ma’am, but we don’t actually have glass mugs. I think they just used it in that ad so you can see the drink.”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! It’s false advertising! I don’t want a caramel apple latte unless it’s in a glass mug!”

    Me: “I think you should know that it tastes great whether you can see it through the mug or not.”

    Customer: “You’re wrong! The glass mug adds fancy deliciousness! I’m never coming here again!” *storms out*

    Next Customer In Line: “I’ll have a caramel apple latte, fancy deliciousness not included.”

    Some Customers Are Completely See Through

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