A husband and wife walk in. The wife finds a table and the husband orders two coffees. As I am handing them to him, his wife shouts across the store.

Wife: “Did you check what kind of plastic cups they’re using? Look at the code on the bottom!”

The husband promptly complies by turning BOTH coffees upside down to check the bottom of the cups. As you would expect, gravity does its thing all over the counter.

Me: “Why would you do that?”

Husband: “I… I thought maybe if I was quick enough the coffee might not fall.”

Me: “Why did you try it with both drinks?”

Husband: “I… don’t know.”

We stare at each other in shocked silence for a few more seconds.

Husband: “So… can I get these remade?”

Me: *Sighs* “Just as soon as I’ve cleaned the counter, sir.”

I remake the drinks and hand them to him.

Husband: “Shoot! I forgot to check the code under the cup.”

I work in a coffee shop and bakery where breakfast is from 7:00 to 11:00 am, no exceptions. You’d be surprised how many people come in and expect breakfast when it’s long past noon or later. Some even have the nerve to get angry, like it’s an inexcusable crime not to make them an exception to the rules.

Customer: “I’d like two coffees and a breakfast sandwich to go.”

Me: “We can give you the coffee, sir, but I’m afraid breakfast is over for the day.”

It is almost noon already.

Customer: “Come on, have a heart! My son is in the hospital and he’s really wanting one of your sandwiches! Can’t you just make me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We can’t do that.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, have a heart! It’s just one sandwich!”

Cue my manager, who happens to be close enough to listen.

Manager: “All the stuff for breakfast is already put away, sir. We’re not doing breakfast again until tomorrow.”

Customer: “Have you no heart? Can’t you make an exception for me? My son is in the hospital!”

Manager: “Sorry, sir, but no.”

Me: “You can still order anything else on our menu, just not breakfast.”

Customer: “That’s not what I came for!”

In the end, the customer practically throws down the money for the coffee, which he still wants.

Customer: “That’s the last time I order here! See if I ever come here again!”

After he was gone, we all stared at each other like, “Did that really just happen?”

Sorry about your son, sir, assuming your story is true, and we hope he gets well soon.

I’d like to hope you were just overreacting from the stress, but for heaven’s sake, there’s no need to have a little public tantrum over a silly sandwich and accuse us, to our faces, of being “heartless.” Come on!

My name is a very traditional Irish name, and a pain if I’m honest. I’ve had a life of people mispronouncing it and struggling to fill in forms. I normally go by my nickname for anything not official.

I’ve ordered a coffee and sit down waiting for it to be made. It’s pretty busy so it’s a fair wait.

I‘m waiting for my coffee, someone with the same order as mine gets called out.

Customer: “That’s mine.” *He collects his order.* “You forgot the cream.”

Worker: “This one specifically states no cream.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, and you have the wrong flavour, and is this even a large?”

Worker: “Is your name [My Name]?

Customer: “Well, no, but that’s my order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I think that’s my order. Is it for [My Name]?”

Worker: “Er, yes? Probably. Sorry if I messed it up.”

Me: “Hey, no worries, to be honest, I rarely even use it.”

The man is stood way too close to me, arms folded.

Me: “Oh, and the coffee is perfect, thank you.”

A couple of women are ordering.

Customer: “I’d like two triple-shot mochas with coconut milk.”

Me: “That’ll be [total].”

Customer: “Oh, and I am lactose intolerant.”

Me: “Well, your order is with coconut milk, so there wouldn’t be any lactose in that.”

Customer’s Friend: “I’m not lactose intolerant.”

Me: “Oh, so would you prefer regular milk in yours?”

Customer’s Friend: “No, I prefer the taste of the coconut milk, but could you put the lactose back in? Thanks!”

Related:
Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance, Part 2
Lactose Intolerance Versus Lactose Ignorance

Grumpy Customer: “I want a large coffee, black, none of that fancy s*** you idiots always try to upcharge me for.”

Me: “Large americano, gotcha. That’s $2.55.”

Grumpy Customer: “What?! For a coffee?! I know places that are way cheaper!”

Me: “And I have customers who pay more. That’s $2.55.”

Mr. Grumpy got his coffee.