Hard To Stomach, Tough, And Last Resort

| Franklin Park, PA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

Customer: “I’d like a mountain pig.”

Me: “I…uh…what? Sorry?”

Customer: “It was called a mountain pig.”

Me: “Uh, we…um, we don’t have anything called a mountain pig. Can you explain that to me?”

Customer: “I don’t know what it is! She said she wanted it.” *turns to friend* “What was it she wanted?”

Friend: “It was, oh, a uh, mountain pig. Yeah that was it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what she meant by that.”

Friend: “It’s a mild coffee. Don’t you have that?!”

Me: “Oh, a Pike Place?”

Customer: “Yeah, that was it! A small one of those, please.”

Me: “Alright, and anything for you, miss?”

Friend: “Yeah, I’ll have two tall mountain pigs!”

Coffee As Hot As Your Temper, Part 2

| Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “An extra hot latte, please.”

(I make her drink, place it on the counter, and go to enter it into the till. I notice her touching the side of the mug and frowning.)

Me: “Is something the matter?”

Customer: “This is cold. I wanted it to be extra hot.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is an extra hot latte. The contents are very hot. The mug is insulated so you don’t scald your hands.”

Customer: *still touching the sides of the mug* “I don’t care. I want it extra hot. Make it again!”

Me: “Ma’am, if it’s cold, go ahead and stick your finger in it, or taste it. I assure you, it’s very hot.”

(She sticks her finger in angrily. She yelps loudly and pulls it back out.)

Me: “Is that hot enough? As I said, the mug is insulated.”

Customer: “That’s irresponsible! How can you tell the drink is hot?!”

Related:
Coffee As Hot As Your Temper

Real Numbers, Imaginary Common Sense

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout

(Our store recently installed numerical locks on our doors due to vandalism. They are a minor annoyance, but usually not a huge issue.)

Customer: “Can I get the code to your restroom?”

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s 81818.”

Customer: “I’m sorry, what was the number?”

Me: “It’s 81818.”

Customer: “I’ll never remember that. I need to hear it in real numbers. Can you tell me the code using real numbers please?”

Me: *confused* “It’s eight-one-eight eighteen.”

Customer: “No, that’s still not a real number. I need it in real numbers.”

Me: “Why don’t I just write it down for you?”

Customer: “No, it’s eighty-one thousand, eight-hundred and eighteen. Was that so hard?!”

Waiting For Opportuniteas

| Chicago, IL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am making a lot of drinks. I place a drink on the counter and shout “green iced tea” so the owner of the drink can pick it up. A woman sitting with her husband at one of the tables, without any drinks, speaks up.)

Customer: “Is that a free iced tea?”

Me: “Green.”

Customer: “No, is that a free iced tea?”

Me: *enunciating* “Green.”

Customer: “Oh, sorry, I thought you said free, like someone had left it. I was like ‘I’ll take it!” *laughs*

Me: “What was your drink?”

Customer: “Oh, we didn’t order drinks. We were just sitting here…”

Mocha Chocolata Nah Nah

| California, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Can I have a hot chocolate but with coffee in it?”

Me: “So, would you like a mocha?”

Customer: “No, no, no! I said I wanted a hot chocolate with coffee!”

Me: “Okay.” *makes a mocha, and all is well*

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