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    Waiting For Opportuniteas

    | Chicago, IL, USA |

    (I am making a lot of drinks. I place a drink on the counter and shout “green iced tea” so the owner of the drink can pick it up. A woman sitting with her husband at one of the tables, without any drinks, speaks up.)

    Customer: “Is that a free iced tea?”

    Me: “Green.”

    Customer: “No, is that a free iced tea?”

    Me: *enunciating* “Green.”

    Customer: “Oh, sorry, I thought you said free, like someone had left it. I was like ‘I’ll take it!” *laughs*

    Me: “What was your drink?”

    Customer: “Oh, we didn’t order drinks. We were just sitting here…”

    Mocha Chocolata Nah Nah

    | California, USA |

    Customer: “Can I have a hot chocolate but with coffee in it?”

    Me: “So, would you like a mocha?”

    Customer: “No, no, no! I said I wanted a hot chocolate with coffee!”

    Me: “Okay.” *makes a mocha, and all is well*

    A Little More Empathy, A Little Less Entropy

    | Australia | Food & Drink

    (I have just finished making a coffee order and I call out the number the customer was given. No one comes to pick up the order, so I call the number two or three times before the customer finally comes up to the counter to pick up her order. After a few seconds, she returns.)

    Customer: “This coffee is cold!”

    Me: “It’s been sitting here for a few minutes. I called it out a couple times but no one came to pick it up.”

    Customer: “Well, this is cold! Perhaps you should only have competent people make coffees!”

    Weighs On Your Conscience And Your Scale

    | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Food & Drink

    (Since it’s my first day, I’m shadowing another employee at the cash register, putting in every order she takes from the customer. An hour in, a woman in her 40s and her husband come in. Note our sugar-free items are advertised as “guilt-free.” )

    Coworker: “Good afternoon and welcome to [coffee shop]! What can we make for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes I’d like a guilt-free sugar cookie latte and [frozen coffee] with guilt-free vanilla syrup.”

    Coworker: *repeating order for my benefit* “So, that’s a sugar-free sugar cookie latte and frozen coffee with sugar free vanilla?”

    Customer: *frowning* “No, a guilt-free latte and a guilt-free frozen coffee!”

    Coworker: “Yes, ma’am, a sugar-free latte and frozen coffee. Will that be all?

    Customer: “No! No! No! It’s GUILT-FREE! Turn around and read your menu board! GUILT. FREE.”

    (At this point I’m scared and just tell the coworker to use the term so she’ll go away.)

    Coworker: “Sorry, that’s a guilt-free latte and a frozen coffee with guilt-free vanilla syrup, yes?”

    Customer: “YES! Finally!”

    (I ring her up and charge her card. Her husband comes to the counter to place his own order.)

    Customer’s husband: “I just want a hot chocolate, young lady.”

    Customer, to her husband: “You’re fat! Get it GUILT-free!” *smacks him with her purse*

    But Cheddar Is Always Beddar

    | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work in a coffee shop that is now advertising using real cheese instead of processed cheese.)

    Customer: “Can I get a chocolate chip muffin please?”

    Me: “Sure, that will be [price].”

    Customer: “And can I get that without cheese?”

    Me: *confused* “We actually don’t put cheese on our muffins.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I saw on the commercial that everything now has real cheese on it, so I really don’t want that.”

    Me: “Well, we only put cheese on things like sandwiches. You won’t have cheese on much else. We have just changed to using real cheese instead of processed, so that’s what we’re advertising.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s a relief!”

    Related:
    Dangerously Cheesy

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