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    A Cup Of Crackaccino, Please

    | Oklahoma, OK, USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a 16 ounce blended iced latte with caramel.”

    Me: “Okay!”

    Customer: “And could you add this to it?” *hands me a plastic baggie of white powder*

    O, Canaduh

    | UK | Canada, Tourists/Travel

    (A customer walks up to the counter.)

    Me: “Hi sir! What can I get—“

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian! Do you have a normal coffee?”

    Me: *confused* “Erm, yes, sir, we have filter coffee that you can add milk to, if you’d like?”

    Customer: “That’ll do. Thanks!”

    (We finish the transaction and I’m still confused as to his interesting but random piece of information. I watch him as he goes towards the station where the milk is kept. There is another customer there putting milk in her coffee. When she finishes, he reaches across to get the milk.)

    Customer: “Hi! I’m Canadian!”

    Hard To Stomach, Tough, And Last Resort

    | Franklin Park, PA, USA |

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like a mountain pig.”

    Me: “I…uh…what? Sorry?”

    Customer: “It was called a mountain pig.”

    Me: “Uh, we…um, we don’t have anything called a mountain pig. Can you explain that to me?”

    Customer: “I don’t know what it is! She said she wanted it.” *turns to friend* “What was it she wanted?”

    Friend: “It was, oh, a uh, mountain pig. Yeah that was it.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what she meant by that.”

    Friend: “It’s a mild coffee. Don’t you have that?!”

    Me: “Oh, a Pike Place?”

    Customer: “Yeah, that was it! A small one of those, please.”

    Me: “Alright, and anything for you, miss?”

    Friend: “Yeah, I’ll have two tall mountain pigs!”

    Coffee As Hot As Your Temper, Part 2

    | Aberdeen, Scotland, UK |

    Customer: “An extra hot latte, please.”

    (I make her drink, place it on the counter, and go to enter it into the till. I notice her touching the side of the mug and frowning.)

    Me: “Is something the matter?”

    Customer: “This is cold. I wanted it to be extra hot.”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is an extra hot latte. The contents are very hot. The mug is insulated so you don’t scald your hands.”

    Customer: *still touching the sides of the mug* “I don’t care. I want it extra hot. Make it again!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if it’s cold, go ahead and stick your finger in it, or taste it. I assure you, it’s very hot.”

    (She sticks her finger in angrily. She yelps loudly and pulls it back out.)

    Me: “Is that hot enough? As I said, the mug is insulated.”

    Customer: “That’s irresponsible! How can you tell the drink is hot?!”

    Related:
    Coffee As Hot As Your Temper

    Real Numbers, Imaginary Common Sense

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | At The Checkout

    (Our store recently installed numerical locks on our doors due to vandalism. They are a minor annoyance, but usually not a huge issue.)

    Customer: “Can I get the code to your restroom?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s 81818.”

    Customer: “I’m sorry, what was the number?”

    Me: “It’s 81818.”

    Customer: “I’ll never remember that. I need to hear it in real numbers. Can you tell me the code using real numbers please?”

    Me: *confused* “It’s eight-one-eight eighteen.”

    Customer: “No, that’s still not a real number. I need it in real numbers.”

    Me: “Why don’t I just write it down for you?”

    Customer: “No, it’s eighty-one thousand, eight-hundred and eighteen. Was that so hard?!”

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