• A Pain In The Nugget
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    A Calculated Attack

    | USA | Bizarre

    (I am working in a coffee shop, getting ready to leave. There is a girl there who is usually very quiet. She is a year older than me and it looks like she had been studying math. She is carrying a large graphing calculator on top of her binder and she is walking out the same time I am.)

    Girl: *drops her graphing calculator and it hits me* “You have just been attacked by the power of math.”

    This Is Just The Tip Of The Ice

    , | Okemos, MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in a small coffee kiosk located in a shopping mall. A customer comes up, and the transaction is fairly normal right up until the end.)

    Customer: “This coffee is so hot! Could you please get me some ice to cool it down?”

    Me: “Of course!”

    (I proceed to grab a paper cup and put a reasonable amount of ice in it, which I then hand to the customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, this isn’t enough! Can I have more?”

    Me: “Sure, sorry about that!” *I do exactly as she asks*

    Customer: “Now this is just too much ice. Can you pour a little out?”

    Me: “Uh-huh.”

    (I’m a little annoyed, but do my best to be as polite as possible as I pour a little bit of ice out.)

    Customer: “That’s still too much ice! I really wish I could just do this myself…”

    (The customer then proceeds to pour about half of the ice into her hand, and then holds out her hand full of ice, clearly expecting me to do the same.)

    Me: “Uh….”

    (I grab a nearby cup for her to pour it in. She ignores this, dumps the ice on the credit card reader and containers of sugar packets, and walks away happily as can be with her coffee filled with what she apparently considered to be the perfect amount of ice.)

    Trying To Go Dutch On The Danish

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at a popular coffee chain that also sells baked treats. A very polite, very elderly man purchases a cheese Danish, leaving only one in the tray. The next customer, a young woman, buys the last cheese Danish. She gives me cash, and while I am counting it out, the old man comes up to the counter again. He points at the cheese Danish that the young woman is holding.)

    Old Man: “Excuse me, young lady, that’s mine.”

    Young Woman: “Oh…”

    (She glances at me uncertainly, and I look around. I spot the old man’s cheese Danish on a table nearby.)

    Me: “Sir, yours is right there.” *points*

    (The old man turns and looks, and looks genuinely surprised to see the cheese Danish.)

    Old Man: “Oh, my…”

    Young Woman: “Dessert buddies!”

    (She high fives him and hurries out of the shop, blushing.)

    Blowing A Lot Of Hot Air About A Lot Of Gas

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (On this particular morning, the other baristas and I have to evacuate the building due to a gas leak on an upper floor. We are outside on the patio, waiting for fire rescue to finish checking it out.)

    Customer: *walks up and tries to open the locked door*

    Me: “Ma’am! Please do not go in!”

    Customer: *pulls on the door again* “Why not? You’re supposed to be open!”

    Me: “We had to evacuate the building due to a gas leak!”

    Customer: “Well, you should have put up a closed sign!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we were instructed to exit the building as fast as possible so we didn’t have time.”

    (The customer leaves in a huff. Two hours later, after we have reopened:)

    Customer: “I can’t believe I had to come back because you guys were closed this morning!”

    Me: “…Sorry. Again, we had to evacuate the building so we didn’t die.”

    Customer: “Hmph!”

    When They’re More Bitter Than The Coffee

    | Dallas, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (I work at a large coffee chain, and this week I’m helping out at another location instead of my ‘home’ store. Naturally, I don’t know any of their regulars.)

    Me: *handing drink to a customer* “Okay, here’s your dark roast coffee with two sugars.”

    Customer: “Next time I come in, you’re going to remember my order.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You’re not going to ask for my order again.”

    (I think maybe he’s joking, because, while of course I’d like to give everyone personal service, no one who is new to the store would be able to immediately know (and remember!) what all the regular customers order. But he is stone-faced, without even a hint of a smile.)

    Me: *with a smile* “Well, I’ll do my best, Sir!”

    Customer: “No, you’ll remember. What was my order again?”

    Me: “… a dark roast coffee with two sugars.”

    (He takes his coffee and walks off without another word. I look around with a ‘did that really just happen?’ expression. As soon as he left, the other baristas all chimed in with other examples of him being unbelievably rude. Sure enough, the next day, he came in and insisted on being helped immediately because “you have four people back there,” even though all four of us were busy doing something to help the customers in line ahead of him. I have no idea why someone would choose to be a regular at a coffee shop and then treat everyone so badly all the time!)

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