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    The Cappuccino’d Crusader

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I am with my friend at a coffee shop.)

    Me: *to friend* “Hey, can you order my drink for me? I have to go to the bathroom.”

    My Friend: “Yeah, of course!”

    (I return from the bathroom and sit in the waiting area with my friend.)

    Cashier: “I have a mocha frappe for Batman?”

    My Friend: *grins at me*

    Me: “What?”

    Cashier: “FRAPPE FOR BATMAN!”

    My Friend: *grins* “He’s calling you…”

    Me: “What do you…oh my God, you didn’t!”

    Cashier: “Yes, she did. Here’s your order, Batman.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Cashier: “No problem. Just remember to protect Gotham!”

    Lukewarm Science

    | Indiana, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer orders a large mocha, but only lukewarm. After receiving it, she takes a sip, grimaces, and sighs.)

    Customer: “I really miss hot coffee.”

    Me: “I can heat it up more if you like.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, it has to be lukewarm. I’m trying to lose weight. I read that calories are a unit of heat!”

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

    (A latte is steamed milk with espresso. Without espresso, it’s just a cup of milk. Our small lattes have two shots of espresso.)

    Customer: “I’d like a small latte with a shot of espresso.”

    Me: “A single-shot latte?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (My coworker makes the latte and gives it to the man.)

    Customer: “Is there a shot of espresso in here?”

    Coworker: “Yes, did you want it on the side?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a latte with espresso in it.”

    Me: “But you just wanted the one shot, right?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a regular latte with a shot of espresso.”

    (I begin thinking maybe he actually wanted a latte with an extra shot to bring the total number of shots to three.)

    Me: “So did you want an extra shot on top of the two included shots? Three shots?”

    Customer: “Oh no, two is fine.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: “I still have no idea what he wanted.”

    Coworker: “Me either!”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Onerously Ordered Orders

    | New York, USAaUK | Extra Stupid

    (I’m making coffee orders and bringing them to the end of the bar.)

    Me: “Order ready! I have a tea, latte, and cappuccino.”

    (I offer the order to the customer at the front of queue.)

    Customer: “No, they aren’t mine. I ordered a latte, cappuccino, and tea!”

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