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    An Abbreviation Abberation

    | Humboldt, CA, USA |

    (I’ve just finished making a sandwich for a customer. I am new at this, so he double checks what I do.)

    Customer: “Did you forget anything?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? You remembered the cucumbers and turkey?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “And the lettuce?”

    Me: “And the tomatoes, pickles, mustard and mayo, sir. It’s written on the–”

    Customer: “Mayo? What the h*** is that? And you left out the mayonnaise! Why did you do that?”

    Me: “But, that’s what I said.”

    Customer: “No! You said mayo! That’s not what I wanted!”

    Me: “I put in mayonnaise. Mayo is just an abbreviation.”

    Customer: “Abbreviation? What’s that, some kind of fruit?”

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    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    | Simsbury, CT, USA |

    Customer: “I need something without coffee in it.”

    Me: “Ok, what would you like?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large mocha?”

    Me: “That has coffee in it, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, it doesn’t. It says espresso on the board.”

    Me: “Espresso is coffee.”

    Customer: “All this time I’ve been drinking coffee!? No wonder I haven’t been able to sleep!”

    Related:
    Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself
    Espresso Yourself Can Cause A Latte Problems

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    Your Two-fer Just Went Poofer

    | USA |

    Customer: “I’d like a grande white mocha and a tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $*.**.”

    Customer: “What? For one drink? That’s impossible!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. I thought I heard you order two drinks. What did you order?”

    Customer: “A tall peppermint hot chocolate.”

    Me, to coworker: “Forget the white mocha.”

    Customer: “No! I still want it!”

    Me: “Oh, so you just wanted me to ring the two drinks separately?”

    Customer: “No! I want it, but I don’t want you to ring it up.”

    Me: *blank stare*

    Customer: “Oh. I guess I’m not getting away with it, am I?”

    Me: “Nope.”

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    Conjured Coffee Conjugations

    | Wexford, Ireland |

    Me: “Excuse me, madam. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Thanks, I’ll have a ‘MochaChinaFrappaLatte’ please.”

    Me: “Sorry, madam, but those are each separate coffees. Mocha, cappuccino, frappe and a latte?”

    Customer: “Oh. I just heard it on TV and I thought it sounded cool…”

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    Identity TV Determined

    | Wasaga Beach, ON, Canada |

    Customer: “Are you on the show [T.V. show]?”

    Me: “Pardon me?”

    Customer: “You know the show [T.V. show]? Are you on it? Cause you really look like a character on it.”

    Me: “No, I am sorry I am not.”

    Customer: “Are you lying to me? I am pretty sure you are that girl from [T.V. show]!”

    Me: “No, I work at [coffee shop], not on a television show.”

    (This went on until my manager had to step in.)

    Manager: *sarcastically* “Yes she is on [T.V. show], she just likes to fly hundreds of kilometers back to Wasaga to work at [coffee shop] because she needs extra money.”

    Customer: “I knew it!”

    (Later on, she brought her boyfriend back and tried to convince me to give her an autograph.)

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