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    The Dark Chocolate Knight

    | Virginia, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Top

    (I work in a coffee shop. I am on break in the lobby when a couple walks in. Directly behind them is a cute little boy in Batman costume.)

    Me: “Oh my God! It’s BATMAN!”

    (The boy stops, strikes a pose and starts looking around menacingly. After a few seconds, he approaches the counter.)

    Mother: “Jeff, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “I am not Jeff. I am The Batman.”

    Mother: “The Batman, would you like a chocolate milk?”

    Boy: “Yes. Yes, The Batman would.”

    (The couple pays while the boy sits down with his chocolate milk. He keeps a stern look on his face as he sips the drink.)

    Boy: *sips* “Gotham is safe.”

    May Top Story Roundup: Skyrim, Smoothies, Soap, Shadows, And Slips!

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

    May Top Story Roundup: From running thieves to running children, May’s top stories were filled with customers with nothing mentally running upstairs!

    1. Dovahkiin’s Day Off:
      A video game thief gets taken down, Dragonborn-style, by an unexpected hero.
    2. The Golden Rude:
      A delicious tale of a rude coffee customer getting what he deserves!
    3. Self Disservice:
      “Employees Must Wash Hands” and “Entitled Customers” don’t mix!
    4. Dumb Without Shadow Of A Doubt:
      A sandwich shop customer gets stupid over a shadow.
    5. Traveling At The Speed Of Stupid:
      An irresponsible parent slips up big time with her bratty offspring!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Size Matters, Part 9

    | Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a barista at my local coffee shop.)

    Customer: “I’d like a coffee to go.”

    Me: “Awesome, did you want the small size or the big one?”

    Customer: “Small. I might be a big guy, but I have a small thing—” *catches himself* “I mean, I like small things—” *catches himself again*

    Me: “It’s okay—”

    Customer: “I mean…uh…small. I will take a small cup, fill it with coffee, and then leave so you and your coworker can laugh at me.”

    Me: *smiles and contains laughter* “That’ll be $1.75.”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 8
    Size Matters, Part 7
    Size Matters, Part 6
    Size Matters, Part 5
    Size Matters, Part 4
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    Weekend Roundup: You Drive Me Crazy

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!

    1. Drive Hoo:
      Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
    2. Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
      Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
    3. Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
      A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
    4. That Was Random:
      One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
    5. We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
      Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Water You, Stupid, Part 8

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work at a cafe that offers bottled water. The bottles are quite large.)

    Customer: “Do you have any smaller bottles of water?”

    Me: “No, but I can give you an ice water.”

    Customer: “What’s an ice water?” *confused*

    Me: “Just, like, a cup of water with some ice in it.”

    Customer: “Oh! Well, I don’t often drink coffee, so, no thanks!”

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

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