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    Water You, Stupid, Part 8

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work at a cafe that offers bottled water. The bottles are quite large.)

    Customer: “Do you have any smaller bottles of water?”

    Me: “No, but I can give you an ice water.”

    Customer: “What’s an ice water?” *confused*

    Me: “Just, like, a cup of water with some ice in it.”

    Customer: “Oh! Well, I don’t often drink coffee, so, no thanks!”

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Dripping With Contradictions

    | Brisbane, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is there any coffee in a latte?”

    Me: “Yeah, there is. We put two shots of coffee in a tall latte.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. How about the cappuccino? Does that have coffee?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, there are two shots in the cappuccino as well.”

    Customer: “So, are you SURE there is coffee in a cappuccino? Because I really need coffee!”

    Me: “I can assure you there is coffee in it. I can even give you extra shots of coffee.”

    Customer: “So, there is coffee in it?”

    Me: “Yes, there is coffee in a cappuccino.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want coffee! What kind of place is this?!”

    Me: “A…coffee shop?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Me: *completely confused*

    You’re Driving Me Strawberry And Bananas

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking orders at a coffee shop.)

    Me: “What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana smoothie.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “Yep, and what size?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “But what size would you like?”

    Customer: “STRAWBERRY BANANA.”

    Me: *trying another approach* “Would you like a large or a small?”

    Customer: “Medium!”

    The Golden Rude

    | Summerville, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I am working at the drive-thru at our coffee shop.)

    Me: “Thank you for choosing [coffee shop]. This is [name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *complete silence*

    (I can see his car in our camera and he’s not talking.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions or anything?”

    Customer: “Well, there you are! What kind of smoothies do you have?”

    Me: “We have strawberry banana, orange mango banana, and chocolate banana.”

    Customer: “I want a strawberry one.”

    Me: “Okay, that will be—”

    Customer: *drives away from the speaker before I can finish*

    (The customer in front of this customer in the drive-thru line has an issue with her order, so we have to wait until it is ready. During this time I make small talk with the customer as we are trained to do. After handing the customer her beverage, the next car pulls up.)

    Me: “That will be [price]. Your smoothie is on its way!”

    Customer: “I have a concern. You just wasted 5 minutes of my time having a conversation with that other customer. If I had honked my horn, you would have called me rude, but don’t you think it is rude to have personal conversations on my time? I just can’t believe you would do things like that. My time is valuable and I don’t like my time to be wasted!”

    Me: “Well, they had an issue with their order and we had to wait. I thought it would be rude to ask her to stop talking to me. I will go check on your smoothie.”

    (I get the smoothie and come back to the window.)

    Me: “All right, there you go!”

    (I am holding the smoothie out toward the customer. He spends a good two to three minutes talking on the phone while I wait.)

    Customer: *turns and finally sees me* “Well, finally, what took so long?”

    Me: “I’ve been standing here for two minutes.”

    Customer: “Well, I was on the phone. Why didn’t you say something?”

    Me: “I didn’t want to be rude.”

    The Cappuccino’d Crusader

    | New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (Note: I am with my friend at a coffee shop.)

    Me: *to friend* “Hey, can you order my drink for me? I have to go to the bathroom.”

    My Friend: “Yeah, of course!”

    (I return from the bathroom and sit in the waiting area with my friend.)

    Cashier: “I have a mocha frappe for Batman?”

    My Friend: *grins at me*

    Me: “What?”

    Cashier: “FRAPPE FOR BATMAN!”

    My Friend: *grins* “He’s calling you…”

    Me: “What do you…oh my God, you didn’t!”

    Cashier: “Yes, she did. Here’s your order, Batman.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    Cashier: “No problem. Just remember to protect Gotham!”


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