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    Size Matters, Part 9

    | Michigan, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a barista at my local coffee shop.)

    Customer: “I’d like a coffee to go.”

    Me: “Awesome, did you want the small size or the big one?”

    Customer: “Small. I might be a big guy, but I have a small thing—” *catches himself* “I mean, I like small things—” *catches himself again*

    Me: “It’s okay—”

    Customer: “I mean…uh…small. I will take a small cup, fill it with coffee, and then leave so you and your coworker can laugh at me.”

    Me: *smiles and contains laughter* “That’ll be $1.75.”

    Related:
    Size Matters, Part 8
    Size Matters, Part 7
    Size Matters, Part 6
    Size Matters, Part 5
    Size Matters, Part 4
    Size Matters, Part 3
    Size Matters, Part 2
    Size Matters

    Weekend Roundup: You Drive Me Crazy

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!

    1. Drive Hoo:
      Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
    2. Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
      Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
    3. Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
      A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
    4. That Was Random:
      One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
    5. We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
      Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Water You, Stupid, Part 8

    | Nova Scotia, Canada | Food & Drink

    (I work at a cafe that offers bottled water. The bottles are quite large.)

    Customer: “Do you have any smaller bottles of water?”

    Me: “No, but I can give you an ice water.”

    Customer: “What’s an ice water?” *confused*

    Me: “Just, like, a cup of water with some ice in it.”

    Customer: “Oh! Well, I don’t often drink coffee, so, no thanks!”

    Related:
    Water You, Stupid, Part 7
    Water You, Stupid, Part 6
    Water You, Stupid, Part 5
    Water You, Stupid, Part 4
    Water You, Stupid, Part 3
    Water You, Stupid, Part 2
    Water You, Stupid

    Dripping With Contradictions

    | Brisbane, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Sure. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is there any coffee in a latte?”

    Me: “Yeah, there is. We put two shots of coffee in a tall latte.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. How about the cappuccino? Does that have coffee?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, there are two shots in the cappuccino as well.”

    Customer: “So, are you SURE there is coffee in a cappuccino? Because I really need coffee!”

    Me: “I can assure you there is coffee in it. I can even give you extra shots of coffee.”

    Customer: “So, there is coffee in it?”

    Me: “Yes, there is coffee in a cappuccino.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want coffee! What kind of place is this?!”

    Me: “A…coffee shop?”

    Customer: *leaves in a huff*

    Me: *completely confused*

    You’re Driving Me Strawberry And Bananas

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Food & Drink

    (I’m taking orders at a coffee shop.)

    Me: “What can I get you today?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana smoothie.”

    Me: “What size would you like?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “Yep, and what size?”

    Customer: “Strawberry banana.”

    Me: “But what size would you like?”

    Customer: “STRAWBERRY BANANA.”

    Me: *trying another approach* “Would you like a large or a small?”

    Customer: “Medium!”


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