October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Getting Into Double-Double Trouble

| Brampton, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Canada, Food & Drink, Top

(I witness a medium-sized customer, wearing a business suit, ordering coffee.)

Customer: “I thought I told you to make a double-double with milk, not this swill with cream!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll remake it for you.”

Customer: “D*** f****** right you will. Morons like you shouldn’t even have a job.”

Me: “Hey! The lady made a mistake and she’s remaking it for you. Calm the h*** down.”

Customer: “Screw you buddy. She didn’t make it right—”

Me: “That doesn’t give you the right to be a complete a**. Shut up and take your drink.”

Customer: “And just what are you going to do about it?”

(I fully stand up. I am a heavy-set, 6’2″ guy. I grab him by the tie and yank him to towards me. I speak very calmly.)

Me: “I just lost my job. I’m in a bad mood. I want my tea so I can read in peace and try to cheer myself up. If you want to really know what I can do, keep talking. I’ll fold you into a pretzel.”

(The customer turns deathly white. He reels around and runs out the door. I make my way up to the register.)

Me: “Steeped tea. Double-double with milk. Double cupped please.”

Cashier: “No problem.”

(A customer in line behind me speaks up.)

Customer #2: “I’ll have the same, and I’ll pay for both.”

Me: “You don’t need to do that, sir.”

Customer #2: “You defended that woman, even after dealing with some pretty horrible news. Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “Well… if you insist.”

(Customer #2 pays for my tea and sits down with me, asking about what I did for a living. Turns out, his store is looking for a new computer-tech, and he offers me the job right there. Lesson learned? Don’t underestimate the power of sticking up for people.)

Over The Edge Of Reason

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work at a chain coffee shop. The building is on the side of a hill; directly behind the shop is a sheer drop off. Every Sunday morning, a woman comes in with same conversation.)

Woman: “Why don’t you have a drive through? The coffee shop in every other town has a drive through!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s no room around the back of the building for a drive through.”

Woman: “This is ridiculous! If you weren’t the only place on the way to church to get coffee, I’d never stop here. The one day of the week I have to wear heels; I have to walk across the parking lot!”

(One Sunday morning, there is a loud crash, and the building shakes. I run outside; the woman has rammed her car between the back of the building and the cliff side. The entire front of the car is hanging off of the edge. Her airbag has deployed and she seems dazed. She starts to open the door. I start yelling.)

Me: “No! Climb out through the back!”

(We eventually get her inside, and call the cops.)

Woman: “I was trying to prove there’s enough room for them to have a drive through. I guess I was wrong!”

(The company won for damages. A family whose home was hit by debris rolling down the hill sued her as well. Seemed like way more trouble in the end than just walking into a building for a latte!)

They Are Tea Total, Part 2

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

Customer: “I’d like an iced coffee with milk, with no coffee in it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Did you want a decaffeinated iced coffee?”

Customer: “No, I just hate the taste of coffee. I want an iced coffee with milk, but hold the coffee.”

Me: “So, would you like milk and ice?”

Customer: “No, I want it without coffee. I have it all the time. It’s brown, and kind of sweet.”

Me: “Tea?”

Customer: “Yes! How did you not understand that?”

He Is Tea Total

Judge A Sandwich On Its Filling

| New York, NY, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money

(A young girl that is about 14 years old walks in. She gets some looks from our other patrons, as she has bright purple hair, multiple piercings, a leather jacket, and ripped jeans. It is freezing outside and she has a scowl on her face that makes me nervous.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [coffee shop]. How may I help you?”

Young Girl: “I’ll take five of the largest black coffees you have, and ten of your ham and cheese sandwiches.”

Me: “Okay, will that be all?”

Young Girl: “Yeah.”

Me: “Your total is [price].”

(To my surprise, she pulls out a $100 bill. I am suspicious, and I check to make sure it’s real. It checks out, and I give her a bag with her sandwiches.)

Me: “Here is your change. Your coffee will be ready in a moment.”

(I keep an eye on her as she stands around glaring at anyone who looks at her. I see her looking at the tip jar. When I hand her the coffees, she asks me about it.)

Young Girl: “Your tip jar says that the money goes to you guys. Are any of you in college?”

Me: “Yes, I’m going to Rochester Institute of Technology. A few others are in college as well.”

Young Girl: “Good for you.”

(She pulls out the change I gave her and a few more $20 dollar bills. She crams then in the jar and salutes me jokingly before walking out. I am stunned, and chase after her. I find her on the street corner talking to some homeless people and handing out the sandwiches and coffee.)

Me: “Excuse me!”

Young Girl: “I’m sorry, did I forget something?”

Me: “No, but you just tipped us over $100 dollars. You’re also giving away a lot of food.”

Young Girl: “Yeah, my dad is crazy rich. I feel like I can do more if I actually interact with people instead of signing a check to a charity. Every Friday I gather anyone I see who needs a good meal, and buy it for them.” *she smiles brightly* “I may be young, but I can make a difference. I usually hand out flyers for homeless shelters or soup kitchens, too.”

(Without another word, she walks off silently. I didn’t stop smiling for the rest of the week. It goes to show you that appearances aren’t everything!)

He Isn’t Leaving, But She Had Better

| Devon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

(I’m looking after my friend’s little girl so she can have a day to herself and relax. As we are in town, I go into work so I can check when I’m next working, then have a drink. The girl sees a kid she goes to nursery with. So, I let her go say hello, whilst keeping an eye on her of course. Next thing I know, my friend’s girl is by my side crying.)

Girl: *points to a random older woman* “That woman said you’re going to leave me.”

Me: “What have you been saying to my kid?”

Woman: “Only the truth. All you young guys are the same. You all leave when you’ve—”

Me: “Okay, you can shut it right there. Now she may not be mine biologically, but I love her like she was my own flesh and blood. More then you could ever imagine. And like h*** am I going to let some insignificant low life like you poison her mind to think otherwise, do you understand me?”

Woman: *stares back in shock*

Me: “I said do you understand me?”

Woman: “Y-yes.”

(Next, I turn to the little girl, who I’ve picked up by now.)

Me: “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Now, who’s my little bumble?”

Girl: “I am. Love you Uncle!” *kisses me on the cheek*

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