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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Lukewarm Science

    | Indiana, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer orders a large mocha, but only lukewarm. After receiving it, she takes a sip, grimaces, and sighs.)

    Customer: “I really miss hot coffee.”

    Me: “I can heat it up more if you like.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, it has to be lukewarm. I’m trying to lose weight. I read that calories are a unit of heat!”

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink

    (A latte is steamed milk with espresso. Without espresso, it’s just a cup of milk. Our small lattes have two shots of espresso.)

    Customer: “I’d like a small latte with a shot of espresso.”

    Me: “A single-shot latte?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    (My coworker makes the latte and gives it to the man.)

    Customer: “Is there a shot of espresso in here?”

    Coworker: “Yes, did you want it on the side?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a latte with espresso in it.”

    Me: “But you just wanted the one shot, right?”

    Customer: “No, I wanted a regular latte with a shot of espresso.”

    (I begin thinking maybe he actually wanted a latte with an extra shot to bring the total number of shots to three.)

    Me: “So did you want an extra shot on top of the two included shots? Three shots?”

    Customer: “Oh no, two is fine.”

    (The customer leaves.)

    Me: “I still have no idea what he wanted.”

    Coworker: “Me either!”

    Related:
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    Onerously Ordered Orders

    | New York, USAaUK | Extra Stupid

    (I’m making coffee orders and bringing them to the end of the bar.)

    Me: “Order ready! I have a tea, latte, and cappuccino.”

    (I offer the order to the customer at the front of queue.)

    Customer: “No, they aren’t mine. I ordered a latte, cappuccino, and tea!”

    Don’t Have A Latte Faith In Self-Espression

    | Virginia, USA | Food & Drink, Top

    (A customer comes in around 5:00 and orders a triple shot of espresso. I start to make it for him as he watches me the whole time.)

    Me: *handing him cup* “Here you go sir, your triple shot of espresso!”

    Customer: “This is a triple shot of espresso?” *looks down at cup*

    Me: “Yes, sir, it’s three shots of espresso.”

    Customer: “Oh, so what do I put in it?”

    Me: *slightly confused as to what he is asking* “That depends entirely on your preference, sir. We have creamers, milk, sugar, and add ins on the table behind you.”

    Customer: “So, I should put that stuff in?”

    Me: “Only if you want to.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay.”

    (He proceeds to go to table and add everything on the table to the triple shot. Several minutes later, the customer comes in with the drink which is filled to the brim with milk/cream.)

    Customer: “You served me earlier and this isn’t a triple shot.”

    Me: “I remember you, sir, and it is. I handed you the triple shot.”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t want cream or milk in it. I need you to make it again.”

    Me: “Uh, sir, I’ll have to charge you again for the additional triple shot.”

    Customer: “I don’t think you understand. This drink is wrong! I don’t want milk in it!”

    Me: “I do understand, sir, but you put in the milk yourself.”

    Customer: “You said to put in the milk!”

    Me: “No, sir, I said it was down to your preference. How about you explain to me what you want in the triple espresso and I’ll give you a 10% discount?”

    Customer: “Fine, I want espresso and a little sugar.”

    Me: “All right, sir.”

    (I charge him and begin to make the drink again. This time just adding a little simple syrup, hand him drink.)

    Me: “Here’s your triple espresso!”

    Customer: *looks at drink, then to drink counter* “So, should I put milk in?”

    Me: “Do you want milk?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then, no.”


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