Coffee Shop | Ventura, CA, USA
(Woman walks in totally nude and grabs a muffin. She has a large, rather offensive tattoo from her bottom rib up her neck.)
Me: “Ma’am, you can’t just take those…”
Nudist: “Why, because of the tattoo?”
Me: “No, because you need to pay for it first.”
Nudist: “It’s a free country!” *walks out*
(I ended up pulling out my wallet and paying for it myself, because getting arrested for chasing a nude chick down the street is not worth it.)
Coffee Shop | San Diego, CA
Customer: “I’ll get an espresso.”
(after receiving the espresso)
Customer: “I’m not paying $2.50 for this…fill up the cup!”
Me: “Sir, you will literally die…”
Coffee Shop | Grand Rapids, MI, USA
(I work at a small, independent coffee shop. You will be surprised how often things like this happen.)
Customer: “Do you sell alcohol?”
Me: “No, we only sell coffee.”
Customer: “But it says shots on the menu.”
Me: “Espresso shots.”
Customer: “What kind of liquor is that?”
Coffee Shop | Studio City, CA
Me: “Would you like half and half?”
Hippy Woman: “Oh no! Soy please. Humans aren’t supposed to drink milk you know. Haven’t you noticed we’re the only species that drinks the milk of another species?”
Coffee Shop | Florida, USA
Me: “Would you like regular ice or ice made from coffee?”
Customer: “What is ice made from coffee?”
Me: “It’s … ice … made from … coffee.”
Customer: *stare*
Me: “Frozen coffee?”
Customer: “Um… Why?”
Me: “Regular ice then. I’ll have that out in just a moment.”
(419 Thumbs Up!)
