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    He Isn’t Leaving, But She Had Better

    | Devon, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m looking after my friend’s little girl so she can have a day to herself and relax. As we are in town, I go into work so I can check when I’m next working, then have a drink. The girl sees a kid she goes to nursery with. So, I let her go say hello, whilst keeping an eye on her of course. Next thing I know, my friend’s girl is by my side crying.)

    Girl: *points to a random older woman* “That woman said you’re going to leave me.”

    Me: “What have you been saying to my kid?”

    Woman: “Only the truth. All you young guys are the same. You all leave when you’ve—”

    Me: “Okay, you can shut it right there. Now she may not be mine biologically, but I love her like she was my own flesh and blood. More then you could ever imagine. And like h*** am I going to let some insignificant low life like you poison her mind to think otherwise, do you understand me?”

    Woman: *stares back in shock*

    Me: “I said do you understand me?”

    Woman: “Y-yes.”

    (Next, I turn to the little girl, who I’ve picked up by now.)

    Me: “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. Now, who’s my little bumble?”

    Girl: “I am. Love you Uncle!” *kisses me on the cheek*

    Never Too Old To Spice Up Your Life

    | NS, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem, Top

    (At work, a regular elderly customer, whom everyone gets along with, approaches the counter at his turn.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

    Regular Customer: *singing* “I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!”

    Me: “So tell me what you want, what you really, really want!”

    Regular Customer: “I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna medium double cream, and a sugar twin, ahhhhh!”

    (While we are singing and having a good time, I am ringing him in. However, the next person in line reaches the counter at the last little bit of his song-order and speaks out loudly.)

    Next Customer: “Hey! I’m in a hurry here, take your song and dance somewhere else, buddy!”

    Regular Customer: “Sonny, when you reach my age, you’ll have all kinds of time on your hands to sing all the Spice Girls music you want, and no one will stop you!” *turns back to me* “And, honey, you look like that Posh one, and she’s my favorite. Don’t ever let a guy like him be your lover, or get with your friends!”

    (With that, he left, leaving the next customer standing there with his mouth agape, and me feeling quite happy! He made my day with the singing alone.)

    A Moment Of Kindness Is Unquantifiable

    | Forest, VA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (Our point of sale has crashed, meaning we can not accept cash. My coworker is in the back trying to fix it. Meanwhile, I am in the front handling more customers than I’ve seen my entire shift, while having to turn away those who don’t have cash. A woman walks in and orders a hot chocolate.)

    Me: “What size can I get for you?”

    Woman: “Just a small.”

    Me: “One moment; I will figure out what that will cost.”

    (The woman looks around at the other impatient customers, reaches in her wallet and hands me a $10.)

    Woman: “It looks like you’ve had a rough night. You can figure it out whenever you get the chance and keep the rest as tip.”

    Me: “No, ma’am! Really! That’s too much! It will only take a second!”

    Woman: “It’s really okay. Please keep it.”

    (That’s more than I normally make in tips in a week. I never saw the woman again.)

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2

    | Leicester, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Top, Underaged

    (I’m standing in a fairly short queue when a businessman walks in, pushes straight to the front and starts dictating his order to the 20-something year old cashier.)

    Cashier: “I’m afraid you’re going to have to go to the back of the queue, sir.”

    Business man: “I have an important meeting shortly. You must serve me now!”

    Cashier: “Yeah, the longer you stand there, the later you’re going to be. Back of the queue.”

    Business man: “Do you have any idea who I am?”

    Cashier: “Nope. Now shut up and go to the back of the queue.”

    Business man: “How dare you talk to me like that?! Get me your manager now!”

    (The cashier sighs heavily, walks into the back, comes out with an older woman in tow and nods her towards the businessman, then disappears back into the back.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem, sir?”

    Business man: “That boy was incredibly rude to me! I demand you fire him immediately!”

    Manager: “I’m afraid I don’t have the authority to do that, but if you want I can get the owner for you.”

    Business man: “Bah! Fine, but I expect to be compensated for having to go through all of this trouble!”

    Manager: “I’m sure you can discuss that with him, sir.”

    (She then walks into the back, then comes out again with the now grinning cashier.)

    Cashier: “Yo.”

    Business man: “What’s the meaning of this? I said I wanted to talk to the owner!”

    Cashier: “Like I said, yo.”

    (The businessman silently gapes for a few seconds, then walks out stammering threats about having his head and closing the shop down.)

    Manager: “Why do you always have to involve me?”

    Cashier: “I just love the look on their stupid little faces when they find out I own this joint.”

    (The manager rolls her eyes and walks into back.)

    Cashier: “I love this job. What can I get you?”

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    Not Just Coffee That Is Perky

    | London, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work as a barista while my coworker is on the till. It is the lunch rush and we have a queue of about 15 people. We have been working nonstop for several hours and so are running out of supplies and mugs. I am currently finishing an order for a lady—Customer #1—and preparing to make drinks for the next elderly gentleman—Customer #2.)

    Customer #2: *loudly* “I can’t believe how slow this service is! It’s absolutely ridiculous! I’ve only come in here for a cup of coffee!”

    (He continues to moan in this manner. I set up the saucers and cutlery for Customer #1.)

    Customer #1: *HUGE smile on her face* “Look how hard these girls are working! They are working nonstop! How long are you here until young lady?”

    Me: “6 pm.”

    Customer #1: “Oh, dear! That’s quite late!”

    Me: “It’s alright, really. Today hasn’t been so hectic.”

    Customer #1: “Well, you girls really do work hard. It’s to be commended!”

    Me: “Thank you very much! Enjoy your drinks and have a nice day!”

    (I move on to Customer #2, who by this point has shut up and is looking at the floor. I make his drinks and finish his order and he doesn’t say a word. That lady really perked me up for the rest of my day and it’s nice to see my work is appreciated by some! Thank you!)

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