October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Blow The Lid Off

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am covering drive-thru on my own for a little bit, due to extreme traffic at our front counter. I take a woman’s order, make her drink, and cash her out. When handing the coffee to a customer, I hold it on the top so they can get a grip on the cup itself. It makes it a lot easier for the customer, and it means that our hands don’t touch and cross-contaminate.)

Me: *hands the woman her coffee* “Have a—”

Woman: *glares at me* “You touched the lid. You can never touch my coffee lid.”

(I made her coffee. Which includes putting the lid on, and writing how much cream and sugar I put in it.)

Me: *too puzzled to speak*

Woman: “You can never touch my coffee lid. Now I need a new one. DOMED.”

(I grab her a different lid (my hand touches it, and it doesn’t bother her), and pass it out to her. She tsks at me, and drives off, repeating ‘You don’t ever touch my lid.’ She’s a regular customer, and she does this to everyone.)

His Manliness Is The Cream Of The Crop

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting in line at a coffee shop:)

Server: “Good morning, sir. What can I get you?”

Guy Ahead of Me: *very gruffly* “I don’t know. I hate all these choices. Just gimme a plain, brewed coffee. Black. And don’t put any of that sissy stuff in it. I don’t want flavors or whipped cream or any of that crap.”

Server: *a little taken aback, but polite* “Okay, sir.”

Me: “I’d like a double, tall, non-fat latte and, because I’m secure in my masculinity, add some whipped cream.”

(She gave me a discount.)

No Drink Americano

| BC, Canada | Food & Drink

(I work at a popular ski resort in Canada. We get a lot of American tourists, many very rude and demanding. I am the barista on duty. I do not take customer’s orders, but the layout of the store means that a lot of customers talk to me while I make their drinks. This particular customer has ordered an Americano, which is made with espresso shots and hot water.)

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I’m making an Americano.”

Customer: “Is that for me?”

Me: “I’m not sure; I didn’t take your order. Is your name John?”

Customer: “Yes, but I ordered coffee, not whatever this is.”

Me: “The order slip says you ordered an Americano. That’s what this drink is, sir.”

Customer: “You Canadians have a really stupid way of making coffee. I have been all over the world and I have never seen coffee made like this before.”

Me: “Actually, sir, Americanos are not Canadian. They were invented by Italians, for Americans who didn’t like traditional Italian espresso and had to have it diluted with water.”

Customer: “Hmph!” *takes his drink and walks away*

Icy Receptions

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer #1: “Vanilla latte.”

Me: “Would you like that hot or iced?”

Customer #1: *blank stare*

Me: “Ma’am? Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Medium.”

Me: “Okay, medium vanilla latte. Hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “Sarah.”

Me: *it clicks* “Oh, your name is Sarah. Okay, is this hot or iced?”

Customer #1: “I don’t need a receipt.” *begins attempting to swipe card*

(I give up, total the order, and write her name on a hot cup. The next customer approaches.)

Me: “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Large caramel latte.”

Me: “Is this hot or iced?”

Customer #2: “Phillip.” *begins to swipe card*

Coworker: “And so sets the tone of the day.”

(The first customer comes back in.)


Me: “Of course you did.”

Woke Up On The Wrong Side Of The Bed Tomorrow

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Time

(The Saturday issue of the local paper we sell is called the “Sunday Early Edition” since it contains a section of coupons, classified ads, etc. A customer brings one such paper to the counter.)

Customer: “Just a tall coffee and the paper today.”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be $*.**!”

Customer: *looks down at paper* “Oh, I grabbed the wrong paper. Let me put this back.”

(He takes the paper back to the newspaper rack, and I assumed he wanted one of the national papers, but he comes back and slaps the local paper on the counter.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any of TODAY’S papers?”

Me: “Ah… sorry, what?”

Customer: “It’s only nine in the morning; you shouldn’t have tomorrow’s paper yet!”

Me:“Tomorrow’s paper? Sir, this is definitely today’s paper!”

Customer: “NO! It says SUNDAY on it, right there! It’s only Saturday!”

Me: “Yes, however the [Paper] calls its Saturday paper the “Sunday Early Edition” since it has coupons and such in it.”

Customer: “But it says SUNDAY! See? Every page says Sunday!”

Me: “I see it, sir, but that’s just what they call the Saturday paper. I assure you, it’s today’s paper. Tomorrow’s paper hasn’t been printed yet.”

Customer: “I’m putting this back. I don’t want tomorrow’s newspaper!” *walks off in a huff*

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