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    Caught On A Hot Tan Roof

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Liars & Scammers, Underaged

    (My friend and I are waiting in line at a night club. A guy in front us presents his ID, but the bouncer isn’t buying it.)

    Bouncer: “You can’t use this. It’s not a valid piece of ID.”

    Guy: “Why not? It has my information on it.”

    Bouncer: “First of all, it’s not government-issued. It looks like an employee ID. Second, do you seriously expect me to believe that this WHITE guy is you?”

    (The photo on the ID clearly doesn’t match the guy, who is of Southeast Asian descent and is darker than the person in the photo.)

    Guy: “Uhh… I’m a roofer. You gotta believe me, man! That’s me in the photo.”

    Bouncer: “It’s almost October and we’re in Canada. That’s one h*** of a roofer’s tan you got there!”

    Guy: “****!” *leaves the club*

    A Boys’ Night (Not) Out

    | Alabama, USA | Top

    (I’m walking into a gay club opening in the city. I hear this exchange between a bouncer and an obviously straight guy standing outside.)

    Guy: “So, what kind of club is this, man?”

    Bouncer: “Um, you into chicks?”

    Guy: “Huh?”

    Bouncer: “Are you into women?”

    Guy: “Yeah, man. Yeah.”

    Bouncer: “This is not the place for you, then.”

    Guy: “Oh…OH!” *runs into parking lot*