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    Seasonally Maladjusted

    | Marysville, WA, USA |

    Customer: “So, is your spring line out yet?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    (I walk her over to our new spring section.)

    Customer: “Oh, thank you! However, I think this in the wrong section.”

    (She hands me a sage green tank top.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, that is part of our new spring line.”

    Customer: “What? Green isn’t a spring color! Why would you choose this color?”

    Me: “Well, we just get sent the clothes, then we put it out.”

    Customer: “But why would you put out an obviously not spring color? You need to pick better colors next time!”

    Eau de Toilet

    , | Eau Claire, WI, USA | At The Checkout

    (I am ringing up a customer. While she is waiting for me to finish, I suggest that she tries our fragrances.)

    Customer: *sprays fragrance* “This stuff smells like a toilet.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer’s friend: *laughs hysterically*

    Customer: “It’s not a bad thing, though. It smells like a clean toilet.”

    In Other Words

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada |

    (A man is browsing through the lingerie and I approach to see if he needs help.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for a gift for your girlfriend?”

    Customer: “Naw, it’s for shawty, my hollaback girl!”

    When The Unforgettable Meets The Incorrigible

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA |

    (I have just started working at popular women’s lingerie store and still don’t really know all of the bras that we sell.)

    Customer: “I am looking for a bra. I don’t know the name of it, but I know what it looks like.”

    Me: “Well, if you can tell me about it, I can help you find it.”

    Customer: “I think it’s called the Unstoppable.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s the Unforgettable.”

    Customer: “No, no, that’s not it.”

    Me: “Well, would you like me to show you the bra I have in mind?”

    Customer: “No, thank you! You have been no help at all and if I see a manager, I’m going to talk to her.”

    (The customer walks off and then comes back holding the Unforgettable bra.)

    Customer: “I found it! It was the Unforgettable, just like I told you!”

    We Smurfs Stick Together

    , | Michigan, USA | Top

    Manager: “And who was helping you today?”

    Customer #1: *points to me* “That nice blue haired girl over there. I think it’s so fun that she has blue hair. Very unique.”

    Manager: “We think it’s awesome. Have a good day!” *turns to next customer* “Hello! Who helped you out today?”

    Customer #2: *points to me* “That heathen with the blue devil hair and no makeup on.”

    Manager: “That’ll be $34.50. You have a nice day.”

    Customer #2: *yells across store* “Thank you for the help, heathen!”

    Every worker in the store: “YOU’RE WELCOME!”


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