Retail Nightmares

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Customer: “I can’t find the skirt I came for.”

Me: “Can you describe it for me?”

Customer: “it was blue, lightweight, and had a red flower design around the bottom.”

Me: “I can’t think of a skirt like that in stock right now. Did you see it online? We don’t carry the whole collection here.”

Customer: “No, I had a dream I bought it here. You MUST carry it! My dreams are prophetic!”

Some People Need To Be Put Away

, | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I am finishing up my shopping experience by doing the impossible – putting the things I don’t want back where I got them. A random woman on her phone thrusts a pile of clothes into my arms.)

Me: “What the h***?”

(I drop the clothes on the floor.)

Woman: “What are you doing?! Put those away!”

Me: “Why the h*** would I put your clothes away for you?! Put them away yourself!”

Woman: “What the f*** is your problem?! DO YOUR JOB!”

Me: “I DON’T work here! Why would you assume that I did?! Pick up your clothes and put them away yourself!”

Woman: “Then why are you putting clothes away if you don’t work here?!” *smug that she caught me in a supposed lie*

Me: “Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to buy something – YOU PUT IT BACK.”

Woman: “Oh… Can you still put these away for me though?”

Me: “NO! Do it yourself!”

(She opened and closed her mouth a few times before just walking away. Some people seriously shouldn’t be allowed in stores.)

I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

| Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a popular clothing store chain. I notice a woman browsing so I approach her.)

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find anything?”

Her: “Oh, that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I can flag down a staff member soon.”

Me: “I am a staff member.”

(She looks at me, somewhat shocked.)

Her: “You?! You don’t look like you work here at all!”

(I laughed and showed her my store ID. She blushed and apologised profusely. This actually happened on numerous occasions over the time I worked there. Every staff member looked quite similar: bleached blonde hair, long fake nails, tight, revealing clothing, and sandals or heels. Then there was me: naturally dark blonde, wearing the most subtle and body covering clothing the store carried, and sneakers. It was no wonder!)

Having A Boo Hoo About Your Hoo Hoo’s

| CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(My school happens to have a similar uniform code as the store I’m walking into. Due to the fact today is hot I take off my shirt, revealing a tight and slightly revealing tank top which matches the uniform the store employees wear. I’ve also been blessed with looking older than I actually am, along with having bigger breasts and curves even though I’m younger than I look. I’m with a group of friends until I wander off to look for school materials — the reason we’re all here anyway — until this lady comes over.)

Lady: “Your uniform attire is inappropriate.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Lady: “Exposing those poor young girls into thinking they have to follow the motto ‘sex sells.’ I demand to see your manager.”

Me: “But I don’t work here.”

Lady: “Then why are you wearing the same colors as he is?”

(A passing employee walks down the aisles.)

Me: “I go to [High School]. We have the same colors except our shirts are black. I just chose to wear a red tank top today.”

Lady: “I don’t want to hear your lies. I want to see your manager!”

Me: “But I don’t work here!”

(The lady storms off and I don’t think anything of it until she comes with the manager.)

Lady: “Her uniform is unacceptable! This is a family place and she’s showing her hoo hoos off with that string tank top! These girls do not need to be influenced by your employees’ need for sexual attention!”

(Needless to say I was ‘fired’ from somewhere I didn’t work and could pick up my check by the end of the week!)

Look Out For The Always Looking, Part 2

| UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

(We close early at 5 on Sundays, which usually throws some customers who assume we are open until our regular time. Most customers get the hint when the lights automatically dim at closing and the music is turned off. Sometimes, however, customers still don’t get the hint. A couple and their young daughter walk in at 4:55 and begin shopping around. By 5:20, they are the only ones left in the store and seem to have no idea that we’re closed. I decide to go up to them to see if they need any help.)

Me: “Hi, can I help you guys find anything today?”

Customer: “Nope, we’re finding everything all right, thanks.”

Me: “Okay, great! Just so you know, we are closing soon, so just let me know if I can help you find anything.”

Customer: *brushing me away* “Uh-huh, thanks.”

(About 15 more minutes pass. The store is recovered immaculately and the closing team is literally just waiting for these customers to check out so we can close the last register and go home. I decide to try one more time.)

Me: “Are you three still doing all right?”

Customer: “Yeah, we’re doing fine. Just looking around still!”

Me: “Okay…”

(At this point, the family begins to head to the dressing room to try clothes on. I’m beginning to get pretty annoyed and impatient, so I turn to my coworker.)

Me: “[Coworker], what time is it?”

Coworker: “It’s 5:40.”

Me: *sighing* “Guess we’re not going home any time soon.”

Customer: *turns around cheerfully surprised* “Oh! By the way, what time do you guys close?”

Coworker: “We actually closed at five.”

Customer: “Oh, silly me! We’ll get going now.”

(The family ended up using a rewards points coupon which covered pretty much their whole purchase, meaning the store made no money off of them and there was no benefit to having them in the store so late.)

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