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  • Discount Their Math Skills

    | Dayton, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (My store is having a sale for 20-40% off. A customer comes in with a return, and she wants to purchase some more items as well. I try to run it as an exchange, knowing this will actually save her money.)

    Me: “Okay, after your store credit, you only owe $10.61.”

    Customer: “Wait, what are you doing? I wanted 30% off!”

    Me: “I realize that, ma’am, but actually, if you run this return as an exchange, you will actually pay less money than with the 30% off.”

    Customer: “No! I wanted my 30% off! Just let me return this and get my 30% off!”

    Me: “Okay, I can do that.”

    (I do the return and then ring up her purchases.)

    Customer: “Okay, your total with 30% off is $32.54.”

    Customer: “There! That’s better!”

    Coupon And On And On

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a children’s clothing store. A customer comes in with her daughter and wants a jacket, so I process it. She then gives me a coupon printed off for 25% off. Members can get coupons in e-mails so this is normal. I scan it in to discover that number has been used already.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. This coupon has been used already.”

    Customer: “Yeah. I used one at your other store.”

    Me: “Well, I apologize, but they should have taken it from you at the other store. We can only accept a coupon once.”

    Customer: “Yes, I printed it out again. It said I can use it all weekend!”

    (I had to hold back laughter because I glanced at her daughter and she just gave me this look that said ‘I’m so sorry’ as I explained that the sale was for the weekend only but it’s one coupon per customer. I never believed people would actually do that until today.)

    Hasn’t Got A Printed Leg To Stand On

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (I work at a clothing store that sells ‘club’ clothes and party dresses. I am one of the only white girls that works here.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: “Yeah. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Do you know where… Oh, never mind. You probably don’t know.”

    Me: “Uh… I know where mostly everything is. What is it you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Never mind. I’ll find it myself!”

    (The customer storms off. A few minutes go by, and the customer approaches one of my African-American coworkers.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have printed leggings?”

    Coworker: “No, we don’t carry those.”

    Customer: “Well, your white coworker told me you have them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you wouldn’t even let me answer you. I know we don’t have them.”

    Customer: “Ugh, whatever.” *storms out again*

    Me: *to coworker* “What just happened?”

    Coworker: “You just witnessed racism.”

    A Slave To Fashion

    | New London, CT, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (A male customer in his late 40s comes into the store and asks if we have any dresses. Thinking that he is shopping for someone else, I show him a few dresses.)

    Customer: “Thanks! My name is Bonny.”

    (He starts telling me his life story. After what feels like an age…)

    Customer: “Do you get a lot of cross-dressers in the store?”

    Me: “We get one or two.”

    (I take him to a fitting room so he can try on the dresses.)

    Customer: “I am going to a school to learn how to be a cross-dresser. I have special ‘teachers.’ According to them, I have to call you ‘Mistress.’ And if I am doing anything bad, you have to punish me however you see fit.”

    (I was freaked out. He then came back out to show me his ‘outfit’ that included tights, high heels, a dress, purse, and sparkle jewelry that I had to put on him. After I had to put the necklace and bracelet on him, he then curtsied to me. It was the freakiest thing that happened to me. He also curtsied for my manager and coworker. But he never bought anything; he just wanted to dress up in our clothes.)

    Soldiering Through Bad Customers

    | Westminster, CA, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Military

    (I used to work full time at a large retail clothing store. I am now in the military and when I take leave, I come back and often work a few days during a week.  A man and wife come up to the register.)

    Me: “How’s your day going? Did anyone help you find everything?”

    (I always ask because I don’t really have a quota I need to meet.)

    Husband: “Oh, it’s going. No one helped, but we found everything easily.”

    Me: “Sorry about that. Glad you found everything, though.”

    Wife: “Do you make commission?”

    Me: “Nope! But most of the employees have sales quotas they have to meet.”

    Wife: “You don’t?”

    Me: “No, I’m part time. I actually have other goals in mind.”

    (The husband half laughs at this point and looks right at me.)

    Husband: “Oh, do you actually have high dreams for yourself?”

    (His wife chuckles, so I straighten up, stop scanning things, pull out my secondary wallet carrying my military ID, with ‘specialist’ listed as the rank and my military police badge and slam it on the table.)

    Me: “Actually, I’m in the Army. I am here on leave and I can’t stand to just sit around. My family is working, so a few days each time I’m back I come here to work. I have been on details I’m not allowed to discuss and you will never learn about from the news.”

    (The husband literally looks straight down and slinks a little.)

    Me: “Not to mention while I’m doing this, I’m about a year and half into my bachelors of science in criminology. But, hey…” *I go back to scanning his items and putting away my wallet* “…it must be extremely nice for someone like you to enjoy being here so casually thanks to people like me.”

    (During the rest of the time I scan the items, neither person says a word.)

    Me: “That will be [price]. We can do any credit card or cash.”

    (The husband says nothing and simply hands me his card politely.)

    Me: “All right, here you go! Continue to enjoy the rest of your day!”

    Husband: *in a hushed voice* “Thank you…”

    Me: “You’re WELCOME. For everything.”

    (I continue with the polite tone and smiling, and then call up the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “THANK YOU!”

    (The customer shakes my hand and we talk about his time in the Marines during Vietnam. I made sure to give him the 10% military discount.)

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