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    Setting Daddy’s Little Girl Straight

    | New Haven, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money, Rude & Risque, Top

    (I’m gay and working in a clothing store for teens/young adults. A roughly 15-year-old girl comes into the store. Her dad is sitting on a bench right outside the store in clear view of the check-out counter.)

    Girl: “Hey there. Do you offer discounts for pretty girls?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not. Unless you have a coupon, your total will be [total].”

    Girl: “Maybe you can give me a discount for a different kind of coupon?” *slowly pops open the top buttons of her shirt*

    Me: “Oh, honey, you’re gonna need a few more years and a surgery before that’s going to work on me.”

    Girl: *scowling* “Are you calling me flat-chested?”

    Me: “Different kind of surgery, honey.” *pointing out my rainbow bracelet*

    Girl: “Oh, ew!”

    (The girl’s dad has managed to storm right up next to his daughter without her noticing. He’s clearly fuming.)

    Girl’s Dad: “You better have a good reason for flashing this kid your cleavage, [Girl’s Full Name].”

    (He made her put all her clothes back and leave the store in tears.)

    Got Him On Collar ID

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Caller: “Hello, I bought a shirt in your store earlier today and the sign said $12 but I was charged $17. I’d like to return it.”

    Me: “Oh goodness, I’m so sorry that happened to you! You can just come in and I’ll be more than happy to help you return that and make it right.”

    Caller: “I’d like to return it over the phone, though.”

    Me: “I’m afraid I can’t return a shirt without the shirt itself.”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Caller: “Why not?”

    Providing Extra Service

    | New York, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Top

    (I work at a cash register at a fairly popular clothing store. A customer walks up to me with a t-shirt in hand.)

    Customer: “Do you have this in size extra-medium?”

    Me: *stares blankly* “An extra-medium?”

    Customer: “Yeah. The medium just doesn’t fit.”

    Me: “Is it too big?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Is it too small?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Then what’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s not medium enough.”

    Me: “I’ll see what I can do about that.”

    (I take the shirt into the back room and take out a sharpie. I carefully draw an ‘X’ in front of the ‘M’ on the tag of the shirt. I then return and hand the shirt to the customer. He checks the tag, then goes and tries it on in the fitting room. I see him again at the checkout counter.)

    Me: “Were you happy with your shirt?”

    Customer: “Yeah. That extra-medium fits so much better than the medium!”

    The Generation Size Gap

    | Hampshire, England, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m standing near the front of the store, greeting customers as they come in. An elderly gentleman enters with a walking stick.)

    Me: “Hello.” *smiling*

    Customer: *suddenly frowning* “GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD!”

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD!” *raises stick and pokes me in the stomach with it* “Would you look at that?! You could live for years! Forever in that body!”

    Me: “Erm, thanks?!”

    Customer: “No! I mean you must be one of those genetic throwbacks! You don’t get trim girls anymore. Girls these days are FAT FAT FAT! I bet you could even run if you needed to!”

    Me: “Sometimes I run; I mostly just eat healthy really.”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD! I must go and get Marjorie from the CD shop and show you to her! GOOD GOD!”

    (He turns and leaves, but never does return. Not even with Marjorie.)

    No Paws For Thought, Part 2

    | NC, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am disabled and have a service dog that assists me. My disability isn’t physical, so sometimes people stop me to try and figure out what my service dog is for. He is completely trained and certified. I am shopping when another customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Oh, are you training that service dog? How kind of you!”

    Me: “Actually, he’s my service dog. He’s completely trained.”

    Customer: “But you aren’t blind!”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How DARE you take a service dog away from a blind person? You ought to be ashamed!”

    Me: “Ma’am, not all disabilities are visible. Plenty of people who aren’t blind have service dogs. He’s not trained to assist the blind.”

    Customer: “You’re just faking it! He’s just a pet and you’re lying! Give me that!”

    (At this point, the customer grabs for my service dog’s leash. The leash is looped around my chest and shoulders like a purse, so this does not go well. An employee of this store sees the altercation happen, and comes running over.)

    Employee: “Ma’am! Let go of the dog!”

    Customer: “No! This girl is lying! He’s not a real service dog and she’s not blind!”

    Me: “Let go! This is assault!”

    Customer: *pushes down on my service dog’s behind* “Sit! Sit! Bad dog!”

    (At this point, I physically yank away from her and give my service dog the signal to tuck in behind me. The lady grabs him by the tail and he yelps.)

    Customer: “See?! See?!”

    (The employee keeps trying to get the customer to leave me alone, but she starts to grab at any part of us she can get to. The security officers show up and haul the screaming customer away. As they drag her out of the store, she is still yelling about me being a liar.)

    Employee: “Oh, my God! I am so sorry! I have never seen anyone so crazy!”

    Related:
    No Paws For Thought


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