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    A Bad Day To Be A Pair Of Jeans

    , | Corbin, KY, USA | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (It was about 5 minutes to closing on a Saturday night and we had maybe 5-6 employees working all female. A new bar had just opened next door, and a drunk man wandered in.)

    Drunk Man: “I need to buy some matches.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir. We don’t sell matches–only clothes.”

    Drunk Man: “Well, then sell me a lighter. I need a cigarette.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We don’t sell lighters or matches, just clothes.”

    Drunk Man: “D*mn it, just give me one.”

    Me: “I don’t have one, sir, or trust me I would.”

    Drunk Man: “You lying b**ch! Give me a f**king match you b**ch!”

    Me: “Sir, you need to leave or I’m calling the police. We don’t have lighters or matches. I’m sorry, but I can’t help you.”

    Drunk Man: “I’ll get it myself!”

    (He storms off toward the men’s department. I call my co-worker in that department, then call the manager to give them a heads up. A few minutes later the man goes running out (empty handed) and my co-worker is racing after him. She grabs my phone and starts screaming over the intercom for our manager. I asked her what happened.)

    Coworker: “He pissed all over the Levis!”

    Math Is Your Friend

    , | Toronto, Canada | Top

    (Customer approaches cash desk with two t-shirts with a price tag of $14.99 each. I scan the t-shirts.)

    Me: “Oh, they scan at $7.99 each.”

    Customer: “The sign on the table where I found them says that they’re 2 for $20.00.”

    Me: “I know, but they scan at $7.99.”

    Customer: “…but the sign says 2 for $20.00.”

    Me: “I know, but head office must have changed the sale and updated the computer before we had a chance to change the sign. So you can buy the shirts for $7.99 each.”

    Customer: “I don’t care what price comes up in the computer. The sign says 2 for $20.00 so you have to sell them to me at that price!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I override the $7.99 price in the computer and change it to $10.00. The customer pays two dollars more per shirt than he has to and smugly goes on his way.)

    Always Right, Even When Calling The Wrong Store

    , | Norman, OK, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling *******, how may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Lumber, please.”

    Me: “Sir, we do not have a lumber department.”

    Customer: “Yes you do. I was just in there and I bought 4 boxes of roof shingles.”

    Me: “Sir, I think you have us mistaken for *****.”

    Customer: “Don’t correct me. I know where I just left from buying roof shingles.”

    Me: “Sir, we do not now nor have we ever sold roof shingles.”

    Customer: “I have my receipt right here. It says *****.”

    Me: “That’s fine sir, but this is *******, not *****.”

    Customer: “Let me speak to your manager!”

    (After another 30 minutes of arguing with my manager we just transfered him to hardware so he could yell at them for not selling shingles.)

    The Proud And Stupid

    , | Indiana, USA |

    (This one came from my manager. A customer called Target and asked about a jacket that was on sale.)

    Customer (very snooty): “Hello, I would like to know if you have any Corbin Wells jackets in stock.”

    My Manager: “Corbin Wells? I don’t think we sell that brand.”

    Customer (getting angry): “Well, it’s on page 10 in your ad!”

    My Manager: “Let me see.” *she turns to page 10* “Ma’am, page 10 is electronics.”

    Customer (extremely angry): “You DO have the ad in front of you, don’t you?”

    My manager: “Yes, I have the TARGET ad in front of me.”

    Customer: “Oh, Target? That’s not the ad I’m looking at.”

    My manager: “What ad are you looking at, ma’am?”

    Customer (still snooty): “Kohl’s.” *click*

    Casting An Extra Super Duper Ginormously Wide Net

    , | Wisconsin, USA |

    Me, on the phone: “Thank you for calling Hollister, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for a specific shirt, I was wondering if you have it?”

    Me: “Ok, can you describe it?”

    Customer: “Well it’s blue, and it says “Hollister’ on it.”

    Me: “Riiiiiiigghhht.”


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