I am a cashier at a discount clothing store. Our employee discount is 20% and relies on the employee’s associate ID number.

Coworker: “I have a friend coming through in a minute. Her name is [Friend], and I want to give her my discount.”

Me: “Okay.”

A customer comes through, [Coworker] tells me his employee number and I put the discount in. Then, I turn to the next customer, who is a complete stranger.

Me: “Hello, how are you? Would you like a bag today?”

Next Customer: “Yes, and I want your discount.”

Me: “…excuse me?”

Next Customer: “I want you to give me your discount, too.”

Me: “Why?”

Next Customer: “To save me some money!”

Me: “…I’m not allowed.”

I wish I’d told him sure, he could have my discount; he just needed to fill out an application and successfully complete an interview!

Related:
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 24
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 23
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 22
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 21
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 20

I’m a bridal stylist; I help people find their wedding gowns. I love my job, and 99% of the time, it’s a happy, wonderful job with great coworkers and customers.

And then there’s the 1%.

I had a bride today who was very sweet but just didn’t connect with the gowns we had. That’s okay; it happens sometimes. She was fine. But her mom (and somehow, it’s always the mom or the aunt) was decidedly not happy and decided to s***-talk me in Spanish the whole time.

Mom: “Does this woman know what she’s doing? She’s pulling nothing but ugly gowns!”

Said gowns were selected by the bride.

Mom: “I hope you don’t ever get as fat as her.”

And so on. Lovely.

Now, I am whiter than a jar of mayo, and I don’t necessarily look like I speak Spanish. However, my parents are from a Spanish-speaking country, even though they’re not ethnically Hispanic. I knew a LOT more as a kid, but l still know enough to get around.

So, I waited until the end, and as they were leaving, I spoke to the bride and her mom in Spanish.

Me: “I hope you have a great day. Please, feel free to come back any time you’d like; we have lots more gowns you can go through if you’d like.”

You know how good it feels when you’re in a ton of pain, and the doctor finally gives you something that works, and you’re suddenly not feeling any pain anymore? Or when you’re craving a specific flavor of ice cream and you manage to find it?

Seeing the look on that bride’s mom’s face when she realized I’d heard and understood the entire hour of her ripping me to shreds was SO much better.

Related:
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears, Part 2
If You Wouldn’t Say It To Their Face, Don’t Say It Near Their Ears

We have discounts very regularly, typically some “40% off the whole store” stuff. It’s very typical to receive questions about the post-discount pricing on various items; big percentages off are easy to calculate, but I can understand why customers would want to verify their purchase beforehand all the same.

A girl, probably around fifteen or sixteen years old, comes up to me.

Customer: “Can I get a price check on this dress?”

I find the tag.

Me: “That’s $20.”

She stands there confused for a second.

Customer: “So, what’s 50% off of that?”

Me: “$10.”

I carry on with my work. Whatever, it’s dark, the music is loud, and people are stupid. I likely would forget about it, but she returns a few minutes after standing in line.

Customer: “Are you sure?”

I nod, but she still just stands there and continues to look extremely unsure. I would simply dismiss it as her hesitating to make the purchase –– you’ll note I’m mentally offering her many chances to redeem herself –– but then, she whips out her phone.

Customer: “Can you show me how to calculate it?”

Related:
Math Is Your Friend, Part 11
Math Is Your Friend, Part 10
Math Is Your Friend, Part 9
Math Is Your Friend, Part 8
Math Is Your Friend, Part 7

When my sister and I were kids, my mother took us to a clothing store and made a Mom Joke.

Salesperson: “And today, this particular sweater is 50% off.”

Mom: “Oh, does that mean half of the sweater is missing?”

Salesperson: *Completely serious* “No, actually, it means we take half off the price.”

For years, Mom told this story as a funny example of someone not understanding what should have been obvious humor. Now that I’ve read NAR, I see it completely differently: either the salesperson legitimately thought my mom was a stupid customer because that’s not too implausible, or the salesperson had heard so many similar jokes and just wasn’t having it anymore.

We have a 40%-off sale in the store, but there are these ugly ruffled T-shirts that we’ve been selling going for 60%. A customer brings the shirt up to me, and I ring it up.

Me: “$14.99 for the shirt, ma’am.”

Customer: “I thought it was on sale.”

Me: “Yeah, for 60%.”

Customer: “Oh, so there’s not an additional 40% off with the 60%?”

Me: “…No. We’re not selling 100%-off shirts.”

Customer: *Sighs* “Well, I guess I’ll take it, then.”

And yes, I know 40% off of 60% would be 24% of the original price, not free, but we all know that’s not what the customer was thinking.

Related:
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 4
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 3
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile, Part 2
They’re Not In The Upper Percentile