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    Equivalence, Meet Ignorance

    | Boston, MA, USA |

    Customer: “I’m looking for an outfit for a one year old girl.”

    Me: “Sure, all of the twelve month clothing is in this section.”

    Customer: “No, she’s one.”

    Me: “Right, so that would be over here.”

    Customer: “You just said that was twelve months!”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: *slowly* “I’m looking for ONE YEAR.”

    Me: “Would you like to go up one size to 18 months?”

    Customer: “Is there someone else who can help me?”

    (I go and get my manager.)

    Manager: “How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Your employee doesn’t understand English. I’m looking for clothing for my one year old granddaughter.”

    Manager: “The twelve month clothes are over here.”

    Customer: “What is WRONG with you people?”

    On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2

    | Kent, United Kingdom |

    (A 60-year old customer with a hefty beer gut comes into our clothing store. Note that I am an 18 year old girl.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, miss, I’m looking for speedos?”

    Me: “Oh right. Well, if you go to the front of the store and turn to your left, there are a few of them on a stand there.”

    (The customer continues to stand there staring at me.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

    Customer: “Would you like to see me try the speedos on?”

    Me: *horrified look*

    Customer: “Just checking.”

    Related:
    On The Need For Hazard Pay

    No Longer A Custo-Mary Holiday

    | Portland, OR, USA |

    (I am on the sales floor and there is a woman shopping with her little daughter. The daughter noticed a red and white sweater.)

    Daughter: “Look Mom, doesn’t this look like something Santa Claus would wear?”

    Mother: “Santa Claus? Who’s that? Santa Claus is a fictional man they made up to take the place of Jesus.”

    Ired By Shire Attire

    , | Montreal, Canada |

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me choose which suit I should get?”

    Me: “Certainly. This model here was worn by actor Sean Astin.”

    Customer: “Who is that?”

    Me: “He played in The Lord of the Rings. He was one of the hobbits.”

    Customer: “You sell to hobbits!?”

    Me: “Well, he’s not re–”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t sell to hobbits!”

    As Shameless As She Is Shirtless

    , | Sliema, Malta | Top

    (I’m second in line to use a dressing room. In front of me is an impatient lady.)

    Customer: “When will I get to use the dressing rooms?”

    Attendant: “Very soon, madam. You’re next in line, so it should be any minute now.”

    Customer: “But I’ve been here ten minutes already!”

    Attendant: “Have some patience, madam. One of the rooms should be free any moment now.”

    (Suddenly, the customer starts to undress right in front of everyone.)

    Attendant: “Madam! Please wait for one of the dressing rooms to be free before you remove any more clothing!”

    (The customer stops, but not before removing her shirt and exposing her bra.)

    Customer: “FINE!”

    (Another customer walks out and the shirtless customer finally walks into a dressing room.)

    Attendant, to me: “Wow… just in time. I didn’t need to see any more of that!”

    (As if on cue, the impatient customer comes back out, but this time she’s completely topless.)

    Topless customer, to attendant: “Here, take this shirt back. It’s too revealing!”

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