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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Now That Is A Wonder Bra

    , | Brighton, UK |

    (The ‘invisible bras’ we advertise talk about the see-through straps.)

    Customer: “I thought this was an invisible bra, but I can see it!”

    (She is pointing angrily at the black bra under her thin white top.)

    Me: *playing along* “No, miss. The invisible bras were the ones next to those ones. I don’t know how you didn’t see them.”

    Discounted Intelligence

    | North Bay, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Math & Science

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m fine, and you?”

    Me: “Also fine, thanks for asking! Just to let you know everything in the store today is 40% off.”

    Customer: “What does that mean?”

    Me: “I….I don’t know how else to explain that to you.”

    Say No To Yes

    | NY, USA |

    Customer: “Hello.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Where do you have–wait, did you say ‘Yes’?”

    Me: *confused* “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I said ‘Hello,’ and you said ‘Yes.’ Is that what just happened?”

    Me: “I believe so.”

    (She rolls her eyes and quickly walks out the store.)

    Misunderstanding ‘Friendly Service’

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA |

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $**.”

    Customer: *pays with card*

    Me: “May I see ID, please? Your card is not signed.”

    Customer: “No! That’s an invasion of privacy. I don’t want you to know my name and try to find me online.”

    Me: “It’s company policy. I’m on camera, and your name is on here anyway.”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager.”

    Me: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “Fine! I don’t want any random friend requests!”

    Me: “I’ll fight the urge, I promise.”

    Some Customers Leave Big Shoes To Fill

    , | Harrisburg, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque

    (While standing in line as a customer, I notice a father and his two children in front of me. The son, about age 8, is sporting a
    Mohawk about as tall is he is. He looks positively adorable and when he turns and smiles at me, I return the smile.)

    Boy: *tugging on his fathers coat* “Daddy, don’t flash all that money in your wallet! That b**** will take it! You always say how b****es are after your money!”

    (The father laughs and agrees until he notices that his son’s free hand is pointing directly at me. The daughter, about age 12, slaps him on the back of the head.)

    Daughter: “Shut up, dumb ***! That b**** don’t want dad’s money!”

    (The father starts to feel uncomfortable with so many people staring. Not wanting to reprimand their behavior but still wanting to make some parental effort, he starts lecturing his son about how his shoes are dirty. Another customer behind me comes to my rescue.)

    Another customer: “If I were you, I’d be more worried about the dirt coming out of the other end of them!”

    (The father falls silent, the children stop calling me a b****, and I get one of my blouses for free.)


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