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    Some Days Just Aren’t Worthy

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA |

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store] uniforms. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, I have a couple of questions. First off, do you guys sell uniforms?”

    Me: “Yes, we do.”

    Caller: “Okay, great, now my second question is, are you guys open?”

    Me: “Yes, we are open all week.”

    Caller: “So, you’re closed on Sundays?”

    Me: “No, we are open all 7 days.”

    Caller: “But you just said you’re open all week.”

    Me: “Yes, hence the seven days.”

    Caller: “Hey, don’t get smart with me! There are only 5 days in the week and 2 days in the weekend!”

    Me: *confused* “No, there are 7 days in a week and we are open all seven days.”

    Caller: “I want to speak to your manager now!”

    Me: “Okay, please hold and I’ll transfer you.”

    Manager: “Hello, [manager] speaking, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you people just hire the most stupid people on the planet?”

    Stressing About The Blessing

    | Darlington, UK |

    (A customer sneezes.)

    Me: “Bless you.”

    Customer: “You wouldn’t bless me if you knew what I’ve done.”

    Think On Your Feet

    | Brighton, UK |

    (A customer comes up to customer services.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return these shoes.”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (I wait expectantly, but the customer does nothing.)

    Me: “Where are they?”

    Customer: “I’m still wearing them.”

    Bilateral Symmetry Meets Botched Schooling

    , | Phoenix, AZ, USA |

    (I am organizing my area of the store when a customer and her young daughter come in.)

    Girl: “Mommy, why can’t I marry my cousin?”

    Mother: “Because you’re too closely blood related.”

    Girl: “What’s ‘blood related’?”

    Mother: “It means if you had a baby together, it might come out with a deformity. You know…like having two arms.”

    Making A Hug(e) Difference

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Top

    (I’m having a very bad day, having dealt with a series of unpleasant customers. I have a half-hearted smile on my face, when a six year old boy walks in. He stares at me for a second, then gives me a hug.)

    Me: “Thanks, but where is your mommy?”

    Boy: “She’ll be here soon.”

    Me: “She might not want you hugging random strangers.”

    (He shakes his head.)

    Boy: “Mommy says retail people need more hugs. You looked like you needed one.”

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