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    Receipting Back A Decent Dose Of Karma

    | Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Money

    (I am working the register when I am approached by a mother, daughter, and grandmother with a return, which happens to be a $140 coat.)

    Me: “Oh, I see you have a return. Was there anything wrong with the coat?”

    Mother: “No, her uncle bought it for her and she doesn’t like it.”

    Me: “All right, I’ll just need to see the receipt.”

    Daughter: “I wasn’t given a receipt when I got it.”

    Me: “Okay, not a problem. However, I will need to see some form of ID and I can only return it for the current sale price.”

    Mother: “Okay, that’s no big deal.”

    (I enter all of the required information, scan the item and am ready to complete the transaction.)

    Me: “You’ll be getting back $84.80. Did you want a copy of the receipt sent to your email?”

    Mother: “What? No, the coat was $140. That can’t be right.”

    Me: “Like I said ma’am, the coat is currently on sale and that’s the price I can return it for.”

    (The grandmother decides to chime in.)

    Grandmother: “Listen here, you little s***. My son paid $140 for that coat; now we want a full refund. My granddaughter shouldn’t be punished for your god-d*** incompetence.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do without the receipt.”

    (After being cussed out by the entire family, the girl, without even looking, promptly reaches into her purse and pulls out the receipt. I scan it and the return comes out to $84.80.)

    Me: “Once again, you’ll be getting back $84.80, and would you like a copy of your attitude sent to your email?”

    (The family quickly grabbed the coat and hustled out of the store.)

    Something Stinks About The Address

    | Orem, UT, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (As cashiers, we’re required to ask for emails at the end of a purchase. Customers can decline, and it’s no problem for us to bypass the email capture screen. I’ve just finished up ringing a young woman and her boyfriend.)

    Me: “Perfect, we’re almost done! Could I just enter your email?”

    Customer: “Sure. It’s BS@f-a-r-t-n-u-g-g-e-t.com.”

    Me: *typing it in without thinking* “All right, if you could just verify the email below on the card reader— oh.”

    Boyfriend: *snickers*

    Me: “I guess that’ll be a ‘no, thank you’ on the email then…”

    Had No Doubt She Was In The Wrong Place

    , | TX, USA | Funny Names, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is about a week before Christmas and I am opening the clothing store I manage by myself. I run to the food court to grab some breakfast, and when I returned to the store there was a middle-aged woman standing in front of the doors.)

    Me: “Good morning!” *I bend down to unlock the doors*

    Customer: “Hi! What time do you open?”

    Me: “We open at 10:00, and it’s about a quarter ‘til right now. I’m just gonna eat this really quick and open the registers and then I’ll open up the store.”

    Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, okay! Take your time!”

    (While I eat and finish up my opening procedures, the customer just paces in front of the windows, looking intently at all of our window displays. I end up opening the doors a few minutes early, and while I’m placing the signs outside the doors she walks in and heads straight to the registers. I figure she’s wanting to purchase a gift card since she’s not looking around the store. I walk back to the registers to assist her.)

    Me: “So, what can I help you find today?”

    Customer: “I’m just here to pick up the No Doubt vinyl.”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry; I’m not quite sure what you’re looking for.”

    Customer: *sighs* “You know, the vinyl!”

    Me: *confused* “We have a men’s cologne called Vinyl. Is that what you were looking for?”

    Customer: *sighing loudly* “No, not cologne! Vinyl! You know, like a record! The No Doubt record!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know what records are, but we don’t sell them here.”

    Customer: *starts glaring at me* “What?! What do you mean you don’t sell it here?”

    Me: *gesturing around the store* “We sell clothes, shoes, and accessories, but no music. I’m sorry.”

    Customer: “But I spoke to you on the phone not even 30 minutes ago, and you said you’d hold the vinyl for me! Why would you say you’d put something on hold that you don’t even sell?”

    Me: I’m very sorry, ma’am, but as you can see, I’m the only one here, and I haven’t spoken to anyone on the phone all morning. I also would never tell someone we would hold a product that we don’t even carry. Are you sure you’re in the right store?”

    Customer: “Well, this is Hot Topic isn’t it?!”

    Me: *sighing* “No, ma’am, that’s next door. On your left hand side.”

    Customer: *suddenly cheerful again* “Oh, why didn’t you just say so?”

    (I have no idea how she stood outside my store staring in the windows for 15 minutes and didn’t realize she was in the wrong place!)

    Retail Nightmares

    | MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I can’t find the skirt I came for.”

    Me: “Can you describe it for me?”

    Customer: “it was blue, lightweight, and had a red flower design around the bottom.”

    Me: “I can’t think of a skirt like that in stock right now. Did you see it online? We don’t carry the whole collection here.”

    Customer: “No, I had a dream I bought it here. You MUST carry it! My dreams are prophetic!”

    Some People Need To Be Put Away

    , | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I am finishing up my shopping experience by doing the impossible – putting the things I don’t want back where I got them. A random woman on her phone thrusts a pile of clothes into my arms.)

    Me: “What the h***?”

    (I drop the clothes on the floor.)

    Woman: “What are you doing?! Put those away!”

    Me: “Why the h*** would I put your clothes away for you?! Put them away yourself!”

    Woman: “What the f*** is your problem?! DO YOUR JOB!”

    Me: “I DON’T work here! Why would you assume that I did?! Pick up your clothes and put them away yourself!”

    Woman: “Then why are you putting clothes away if you don’t work here?!” *smug that she caught me in a supposed lie*

    Me: “Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to buy something – YOU PUT IT BACK.”

    Woman: “Oh… Can you still put these away for me though?”

    Me: “NO! Do it yourself!”

    (She opened and closed her mouth a few times before just walking away. Some people seriously shouldn’t be allowed in stores.)

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