Only Six-And-A-Half Inches From Crazytown

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a popular store, and it’s during the Christmas rush. I see an older gentleman looking around in the pants section.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you? Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer: “Actually. I’m looking for a pair of jeans.”

Me: “Well you have come to the right place! We have lots of jeans in a wide range of colors. And if we don’t have what you need, we can order it!”

Customer: “Well, I don’t really care about the color. But I need them to have a good zipper.”

Me: “Okay, well our zippers are made to top quality standards. We have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, so if it does break, you can bring it back.”

Customer: “Well, I need the zipper to be exactly 6 1/2  inches long. Any longer or shorter, they just won’t do.

(Seeing as this is kind of unusual, and our jeans don’t come with the zipper length mentioned on either the tag or anywhere else, I am unsure what to say.)

Me: “…Um, okay. Well, I can go and grab a measuring tape if you would like.”

Customer: “Would you? Because I have looked everywhere and no one seems to carry them.”

(A minute later I return with the measuring tape and we start measuring zipper lengths. But all of them are either too short or too long for his liking.)

Customer: “Well, at least we can order them in.”

Me: “We can order the same jeans we have here, but the zipper lengths won’t change.”

Customer: “Well, can’t you people just leave a note saying that it’s very important that I have a 6 1/2 inch zipper?”

Me: “I could, but seeing as it’s the busiest season of the year, they may not be able to check all the zippers to find you one that suits your needs. And seeing as we don’t have a 6 1/2 inch zipper here, I doubt they will either.”

Customer: “So basically you lied to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t have what you were looking for, but you are looking for something very exact.”

Customer: “So you are saying this is my fault that you b****** don’t have what I am looking for?!”

Me: “Once again I’m—”

Customer: “No! Save it for all the other people you aren’t going to help. You can expect to hear from me in the future!”

(He yells as he storms out of the store. We never did hear from that customer. Maybe he just learned to zip his mouth.)

An Alarming Lack Of Parenting

, | Bucks County, PA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Family & Kids

(We share a building with a popular candle store that is notorious for setting the fire alarms off. I have been working with a customer who is amassing a rather large pile of clothing, lingerie, and makeup. She is letting her ten-year-old son run all over the store and not stopping him from pulling the pants down on all of the mannequins in the store, picking up handfuls of underpants and throwing them, and spraying the employees with a bottle of tester perfume. I am being a good sport and putting up with it because she is going to spend a lot of money and she is being pleasant with me. All of a sudden, the fire alarm goes off.)

Me: “Oh, no, [Candle Store] must have set off the fire alarms again. We are going to have to vacate the building. I’m sorry, ma’am. If you want me to hold the clothes at the register, I can finish your transaction as soon as they give us the all clear to come back in.”

Customer: “No, that won’t be necessary. There’s no fire, so we can stay in the shop.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I know you cannot see a fire, but since we share this building with a candle store, there may very well be a fire in the building and it just has not spread to this shop. It’s a potentially dangerous situation, and we need to vacate the building for our safety until the fire company arrives and says it’s okay.”

Customer: *now getting annoyed* “I told you there’s no fire! Do you see a fire? No! That’s because there’s no fire! My son was annoyed that I was taking so long, so he pulled the fire alarm. He does that sometimes to let me know it’s time to go.”

(My store manager comes up to us as we are the only ones left in the store. She tries to shoo us out but the customer repeats her story to my manager.)

Manager: “Wait, wait, wait. Your son pulled the fire alarm because he was bored?”

Customer: “Yes, I saw him heading toward it and I said “[Kid], don’t you dare!” and he smiled and did it anyway and ran off. I don’t know where he is now.”

(My manager and I stand there in shocked silence as the firemen burst through the doors.)

Fireman #1: “Wow, for once it wasn’t the candle shop!”

Fireman #2: *noticing us* “What are you guys doing in here? You need to get out of the building!”

Customer: *now exasperated* “No, it’s okay. My son pulled the alarm. Now can we please finish ringing up my stuff so I can pay and leave before he does something else?”

Firefighter #2: “Ma’am, pulling a fire alarm for no reason is punishable by a fine.”

(The customer dropped all her stuff as if it was on fire and proceeded to sprint out of the store and head to the parking lot. Her son popped out of a display rack and went after her with Fireman #1 chasing them down. I’m not sure what happened to her after he caught her.)

Has Some Holiday Daddy Issues

| ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(The store I work at has multiple signs advertising for Father’s Day promotions, which is next week.)

Customer: “Is tomorrow Father’s Day? I don’t want to miss it.”

Me: “No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure it’s next week, but I’m not 100% sure.”

Customer: “You don’t know?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I can check for you if you’d like?”

Customer: *very snidely* “How can you not know? What, don’t you have a father?”

Me: “No. Actually, I don’t.”

(He blushed, apologized, and left quickly.)

A Service To Customer Service

, | Roseville, CA, USA | Awesome Customers

(It is my last day of work because I am leaving in order to attend an out-of-state university. One of my regular customers knows this and has promised to come and see me before I leave, but my shift is about to end and I still haven’t seen her. About a half hour before I have to leave she comes in carrying a large shopping bag.)

Customer: “[My Name]! I’m glad I caught you.”

Me: “Same here! I was hoping you’d come in and was worried when you didn’t.”

Customer: “I can’t stay very long but I wanted to give you this.”

(She reaches into the bag, pulls out a box of chocolates from a well known candy store, and hands it to me.)

Customer: “You’ve always been so nice to me and given me the greatest customer service. I’m going to miss you! Here, take my phone number and call me when you come back.”

(I thanked her profusely, took the candy, and gave her my number. There were tears in my eyes the whole time. I’ve had many customers throughout my work experience – some especially good and some especially terrible – but she will always stick in my mind as one of the best.)

All Dressed Up With Nothing To Wear

| Austria | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at a store that is part of a large shopping centre. An energy drink company is having a promotion in the centre, letting men in neon-green full body suits hand out flyers. Their face and head is covered, too. It’s deep winter. I work the checkout-counter at our store, when one of the neon-green men comes up with a heap of clothing. His face is still covered.)

Customer: “Do you work until closing time today?”

Me: “Um, yeah. Why?”

Customer: “I don’t know where to put this stuff while I am working, so I wondered if you would keep them for me and bring them out when you are done.”

Me: “Don’t you have a room where you keep your regular clothes and stuff?”

Customer: “No, I came from home dressed like this, and it was freezing. That’s why I am buying some clothes now.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “All right. I have to clear that with my manager, but I’ll be out by 19:30.”

(The manager agreed to this, laughing. When I came out he was waiting, still in full costume, at the employee door, thanked me profusely, and disappeared into a men’s room nearby. I never saw him again.)

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