I have ADHD, so I frequently find myself begging the world to do the impossible. My strategy is to just be as nice and thoughtful as I can figure. 

It was a couple of weeks into the university semester, but I was not allowed to enroll in classes. I was a re-entry student, and I’m old enough that I actually suffered through chicken pox. When I initially went to school, I just checked a box that I’d had the virus and wrote that it was in 1997.

It is assumed that students these days have gotten the chicken pox vaccine, and it is required. I can’t get the vaccine because I’ve had the illness, and I had to get a blood test to prove it.

I needed an appointment, and normally, it would take days or weeks, so when I set off to the school clinic with no appointment, my friends were shocked at my hubris and sure that I would have grave disappointment. But I just figured I could give it my best magic.

There was a grumpy lady at a desk. I looked at her body language a bit and noticed that she had a cool hat. Then, I approached carefully and tried to smile just big enough without looking unhinged while doing a cautious wave and a little nod-bow. People like her are treated terribly by students, and I didn’t want to remind her of someone she didn’t want to help.

Me: “Um, so I know my lack of planning doesn’t mean your emergency…”

She actually smiled at that and clearly warmed up to me.

Me: “It’s okay if you can’t help me, but I have a sort of funny situation, and I thought that if by some miracle you can, great, and if you can’t help, then we can laugh together.”

I also complimented her hat. She did think what I said was sort of funny — or she thought I was funny, due to being a weirdo.

In any case, the whole interaction took less than five minutes. She created a lab work order and texted her coworker to make sure I would get seen that day. Somehow, I was the first person they saw after their lunch.

People are so nice to me when I blatantly point out that I’m being ridiculous and they don’t need to bother with me. I also frequently have the expected bad consequences from avoidance and procrastination, but I’m always so touched and amazed when people decide to save me from myself.

(I am a medical assistant in a family medicine clinic. We often have difficulty with refills for patients, but this was a memorable one. Note: the patient is elderly so I was trying to be really patient and understanding!)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Clinic]. How may I help you?”

Patient: “I need to find out which medications Dr. [Name] refilled at my last appointment.”

Me: “It looks she filled two: [Medication #1] was sent to your mail order pharmacy, and [Medication #2] was sent to your local pharmacy.”

Patient: “I didn’t need [Medication #1] refilled!”

Me: “I am sorry about that. Which medications are you needing refilled today?”

Patient: “All of them.”

(I start to go through her list.)

Me: “How about [Medication #3]?”

Patient: “I don’t need that one.”

Me: “How about [Medication #4]?”

Patient: “I don’t need that one, either.”

(This repeats several times.)

Patient: “I just need the ones I take regularly.”

Me: “Well, you only have two medications that you take daily, and [Medication #1] was filled last month. Are you needing [Medication #5]? I can refill that for you, though our records show you should have about ten months of refills at your mail order pharmacy.”

Patient: “I don’t know what that is. Just fill all of them for me!”

Me: “I don’t know which ones you are needing; it looks like you have refills on all of your regular medications.”

Patient: “Just ask Dr. [Name]. She’ll know what I need.”

Me: “I have your list in front of me, she won’t know more about what you need refilled than I do.”

Patient: “I’m trying to bake a pie. Just call me when you figure it out.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I don’t know how to help you as I’m not sure what you need.”

Patient: “Fine, I’ll call you back later. Try to figure it out for me.”

(This was one time, that while frustrating, I actually felt really bad that I couldn’t help her! She wasn’t particularly rude, just confused.)

(My husband and I had decided to go on a trip to the Dominican Republic with another couple. This couple is about 10 years younger than we are and more attractive. When we go to get our vaccinations before the trip, this happens.)

Nurse: *to the other couple* “Now, you two weren’t planning on getting up to anything naughty with the locals, were you?”

Male Friend: *grinning* “Like what?”

Nurse: *wags finger coyly* “You know what I mean. No sexual activity, okay? You could catch something that these shots won’t prevent.”

Female Friend: “Don’t worry, we won’t.”

Nurse: “Good to know. Have fun. Next!”

Me & My Husband: “That would be us.”

Nurse: *suddenly very business-like* “I have a warning for you two, as well.”

Me: “Don’t have sex with the locals?”

Nurse: “What? No, I was going to warn you not to eat the fish. It might make you sick.”

(As we walked away, my husband said “I feel vaguely insulted and I’m not sure why.”)

(Our county health department is holding a special flu vaccination clinic at a local senior center. There are a number of other activities going on in different parts of the building, so I’m staffing the desk, checking in clients and giving directions. A very small, fragile-looking but smartly dressed gentleman walks in, leaning on a cane. He appears to be ninety if he’s a day.)

Me: “Good afternoon, sir; are you here for the flu clinic?”

Gentleman: “No, I’m here for the square dancing class!”

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(I’m volunteering at a clinic, currently working in administration. I handle calls and schedule appointments. It has been raining throughout the whole month, so there are puddles outside. An elderly couple around their 70s come out from their appointment.)

Husband: *to his wife* “Let me move the car so you won’t walk in a puddle.”

Wife: “No, it’s all right. Just unlock the door.”

Husband: “Fine. If you fall, it’s not my fault.”

Wife: “Don’t worry; I can swim.” *walks out the door*