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    Ice Cream Is The Back Up Plan

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

    (I work at a charity run property. My job is to greet visitors and, occasionally, help out other departments. Today is unbelievably busy so I’ve been asked to help the car park team. It’s the hottest day of the year.)

    Visitor: *pulls up* “Where to?”

    Me: *points to a free space* “Just over there, please.”

    (The lady drives in that direction, and I look around for a free space for the next car. When I turn around I see that she’s parked in the middle of the exit lane, effectively blocking in everybody else.)

    Me: “Excuse me, Miss? You’re blocking the way there. Can you move your car to that space?”

    Visitor: “I’m not in the way! My son’s got short legs! We need to park here to be closer to the path.”

    Me: “No, please move your car. See…” *points to the lanes we’ve made between cars* “…they all lead here, and you’re blocking the exit.”

    Visitor: “Then make a new exit! I’m not moving!”

    (By now there’s a line of cars waiting to be directed, and I’m getting flustered.)

    Me: “If you’d please just—”

    Visitor #2: “Don’t bother kid, she’s not listening. Hey lady! Move your car or we can’t get through!”

    (Visitor #1 goes red and moves her car to the space I’d pointed out. A few minutes after I park him, Visitor #2 comes over with an ice cream.)

    Visitor #2: “Because ice cream makes everything better!”

    Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

    | UK | Bizarre

    (I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

    Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

    Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

    (At this point, my coworker comes over.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

    Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

    Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

    (The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

    Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

    Clothing That Just Takes Control

    | Miami, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I work at a charity that accepts donations.)

    Customer: *quite loudly* “Where can I leave my domination clothing?”

    Me: *stares shocked*

    Customer: “That’s the wrong word, isn’t it?”

    No Good Deed Goes Unthreatened

    | Houston, TX, USA |

    (I am working for a non-profit charity. It’s right before Christmas and we’re calling our prior donors to wish them a happy holiday season and to thank them for their support.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] calling from [organization]. We’re contacting our prior—”

    Donor: “Don’t call this number, lady! Don’t you ever call this number again! I’ll find out where you live, drag you out of bed, and dump cold water on you. You understand? Do not ever call this number, you dumb b****!” *click*

    Bleeding For A Cause

    , | Evans, GA, USA |

    (I call people to request for them to come in and donate blood.)

    Me: “Hello! This is [name] with the blood center.”

    Male customer: “Oh, is it that time of the month again?”

    Me: *speechless*

    Male customer: “I just realized what I said.”

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