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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Real Superheroes Are In The Running

    | Kissimiee, FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Geeks Rule

    (I am part of a charity group that dresses up like superheroes. We are attending a 5k run to benefit a children’s charity, cheering on over 1000 runners. The guys dressed as Superman and the Flash agreed to run the first fifth of the race.)

    Batgirl cosplayer: “There’s Superman!”

    Superman cosplayer: “Hey guys. Lost Flash back there… so, we’re near the finish line?”

    Me: “There’s the finish line.”

    Superman cosplayer: “Nice!”

    Route supervisor: “First runner coming!”

    (We all start cheering and clapping, like we are supposed to.)

    Superman cosplayer: “Oh, thank god it’s him!”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Superman cosplayer: “When Flash and I were lining up, a bunch of the ‘professional’ runners shoved us out of the way so we wouldn’t slow down their start. One of the runners told them to back off.”

    (We all cheer loudly as we see the heroic runner cross the finish line for a first place finish.)

    Superman cosplayer: “And here come some more ‘pros’. Wait, what the…”

    (Running with the ‘professionals’ is a boy who looks about eight. As the event is about kids, we cheer him instead. He beats half of them!)

    Me: “You go kiddo! You beat the Flash!”

    (Both the first place finisher and the little boy came back to thank us for cheering them on. It was awesome!)

    The Fringes Of Sanity

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre

    (I am shaving my head in public for charity at a school fair. Because my hair is too long to shave straight off, anyone at the fair can pay £1 to chop a chunk of my hair off, putting said hair in a bucket afterwards. A man walks into the fair, sees my stall, and makes a beeline for it.)

    Me: “Hello! I’m raising money for charity. Would you like to cut a lump of my hair off for £1? It’s all being shaved at 9pm.”

    Man: *smiles, says nothing, and puts £1 on the table*

    Me: “Great, here are the scissors.”

    Man: *takes the scissors and cuts some of my hair*

    Me: “Nice one! If you’d just like to put the hair in the bucket ove—”

    Man: *smiles, looks at my newly cut hair, and walks out of the fair with it*

    Me: *speechless*

    Ice Cream Is The Back Up Plan

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Top, Transportation

    (I work at a charity run property. My job is to greet visitors and, occasionally, help out other departments. Today is unbelievably busy so I’ve been asked to help the car park team. It’s the hottest day of the year.)

    Visitor: *pulls up* “Where to?”

    Me: *points to a free space* “Just over there, please.”

    (The lady drives in that direction, and I look around for a free space for the next car. When I turn around I see that she’s parked in the middle of the exit lane, effectively blocking in everybody else.)

    Me: “Excuse me, Miss? You’re blocking the way there. Can you move your car to that space?”

    Visitor: “I’m not in the way! My son’s got short legs! We need to park here to be closer to the path.”

    Me: “No, please move your car. See…” *points to the lanes we’ve made between cars* “…they all lead here, and you’re blocking the exit.”

    Visitor: “Then make a new exit! I’m not moving!”

    (By now there’s a line of cars waiting to be directed, and I’m getting flustered.)

    Me: “If you’d please just—”

    Visitor #2: “Don’t bother kid, she’s not listening. Hey lady! Move your car or we can’t get through!”

    (Visitor #1 goes red and moves her car to the space I’d pointed out. A few minutes after I park him, Visitor #2 comes over with an ice cream.)

    Visitor #2: “Because ice cream makes everything better!”

    Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

    | UK | Bizarre

    (I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

    Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

    Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

    (At this point, my coworker comes over.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

    Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

    Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

    (The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

    Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

    Clothing That Just Takes Control

    | Miami, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I work at a charity that accepts donations.)

    Customer: *quite loudly* “Where can I leave my domination clothing?”

    Me: *stares shocked*

    Customer: “That’s the wrong word, isn’t it?”

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