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    Unlimited Texts, Limited Intelligence

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Family & Kids, Technology

    (After purchasing a cell phone a few hours ago, a teenager and her mom return, saying they’re having difficulty.)

    Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer’s mom: “She’s having problems sending a text message to her dad.”

    Customer: “Yeah, it keeps saying that it doesn’t recognize his phone or something.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s odd. Here, show me.”

    (The customer types a short message along with her dad’s number, and hits send. After a few moments, a message reads ‘Error: Your message was not sent. Address is not a recognized mobile device’.)

    Me: “Oh…are you trying to text it to his home phone?”

    Customer’s mom:“Yes! Why does that matter?”

    Me: “Because only cell phones can receive text messages. It’s not going to work.”

    Customer’s mom:“What? Since when? Well, she’d like a plan that can do that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s not up to me. That’s just how phones work.”

    Customer: “But it’s an unlimited texting plan!”

    Related:
    Unlimited Minutes, Limited Intelligence

    Some Customers You Just Have To Let Slide

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Top

    Me: “Good afternoon, this is [cellphone store]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I came in to your store today and you sold me a defective phone!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. What is your full name and phone number so I can pull up your account?”

    Customer: *gives information*

    Me: “Okay, thanks. I see, you bought a [phone]. What seems to be the problem?

    Customer: “The keyboard on this piece of s*** won’t come out!”

    Me: “Have you tried sliding it the other way?”

    *really long pause*

    Customer: “Well thanks a lot, b****! Now you made me feel like a f***ing idiot!” *click*

    H2Slow

    | Australia |

    Customer: “Hello. I bought this phone from you and I accidentally got some orange juice on it.”

    Me: “Okay, well if it didn’t get too much on it, it might be okay. Is it turning on?”

    Customer: “No.”

    (I take the phone and it has a lot of moisture damage.)

    Me: “It looks like there’s quite a lot of juice on this.”

    Customer: “Oh that’s not juice. I ran it under the tap to get the juice off!”

    Miracle On 24th Street

    | Fallon, NV, USA |

    (I had activated a phone for a new customer with a standard two-year agreement. The next day, she comes back into the store, clearly irritated.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome back. How is your new phone working?”

    Customer: “You messed up my contract. You need to fix it.”

    Me: “Okay, what is the problem with your contract?”

    Customer: “You said I had a two-year contract, but on this paperwork it says 24 months. You need to fix it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing wrong with the contract.”

    Customer: “Yes, there is. You said two years and this says 24 months!”

    Me: “Ma’am… how many months are in a year?”

    Customer: “Twel–oh…well, now I feel stupid!”

    Related:
    Math Is Your Friend
    Math Saves The Day Yet Again

    Why Our Contracts Are A Gazillion Pages Long

    , | Indiana, USA |

    Caller: “Hello, my cellphone bill is more than it is supposed to be.”

    Me: “Okay, I see that your bill is $4.00 more than normal. Let’s see why.”

    Caller: “You had better figure this out. I’m not going to pay it if you’re trying to screw me!”

    Me: “I see the problem, You actually called Canada.”

    Caller: “I have nationwide calling! I can call Canada if I want to.”

    Me: “Actually, if you have nationwide calling, you’re only okay in the United States.”

    Caller: “So? Canada is part of North America.”

    Me: “Yes, but not the United States…”

    Caller: “What about Colorado?”

    Me: “Yes, Colorado is okay.”

    Caller: “What about… Vietnam?”

    Me: “Umm, no, that would be a bit international.”

    Caller: “Fine! I’ll pay it this time, but maybe you guys should be a bit more clear on what your national service consists of!”

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